


#mysteryman

by eg1701



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Coming Out, Crack Treated Seriously, Domesticity, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Social Media, Stanley Uris Lives, Twitter, i do not recommend you read it, little to no plot, stan twitter, this is not good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 25,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eg1701/pseuds/eg1701
Summary: Richie Tozier comes out in the first show since his LA fiasco.Twitter has a field day.(or, yet another social media AU that not a single person asked for bc there's already a thousand)
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 914
Kudos: 1091





	1. stan twitter gets on the case

**Author's Note:**

> i LOVE social media au's and I wanted to have a go at writing one. 
> 
> there are so many of these for any fandom, and even for reddie that are probably much better than this crack fic and there's a good chance you have already read it and this is not an original concept in any way shape or form but today i offer u this. tomorrow? who knows
> 
> i also...dont follow that many entertainment twitters and had to search up each one for their handles and try to imagine how they would tweet and I'm also not funny

**A Transcript from Richie Tozier's show, last night, San Fransisco**

_“So the thing is I recently went back to my hometown for a bit. I hadn’t been in nearly thirty years. And I had a pretty fucked up childhood. I guess you kinda have to to be a comedian. At least a mediocre comedian like me. You all are basically my therapists, except you pay me to talk to you rather than the other way around. But the thing about horrible childhoods is sometimes you forget them. You think it was normal until you get together with your childhood friends and come face to face with your crush.  
“Let me talk about my childhood crush for a second. Cause my logic as a twelve year old was to just be really mean and an asshole. I mean that was my logic for everything, but specifically this. You know how when your parents are like ‘oh he’s being mean to you because he likes you?’ First of all what the fuck is that about. If somebody is mean to you then they probably don’t like you. Except me, but I was a little feral child and probably should never be used as an example.  
“But I’m getting ahead of myself. So I’m there at this little runion- we called ourselves Losers. That’s with a capital L. I don’t even know how to unpack that for you. So I’m there and in come’s little baby Richie’s childhood dreamboat and I think my brain would have exploded if I thought too hard. What did I do? I was somehow more of an asshole then I had been as a kid. Cause hey! It hadn’t worked then it’ll totally work now. That’s how logic works right.”  
“You want to know all the gory details though don’t you. I mean, I’ve been airing my dirty laundry publicly for a while and I’m dancing around this and you want to know why. And the truth is because I’ve never really said this outloud. So you get to be the first I guess. And that truth is that I’m gay.  
“I know! I’ve made so many girlfriend jokes! So many straight men jokes. You must think that I’m bullshitting you but I’m not! I’m gay. And guess what! He’s here! You don’t know who it is. Maybe he’s sitting right next to you. What a mystery it is. But what matters is that I’m saying it now. Now I don’t have to keep it inside anymore. Cause it sucks to be that deep in the closet. And I feel weird about it. Saying this to you now, you lovely kind strangers who I have never met and can only vaguely see in the darkness. But you know something that it took me over thirty years to admit to myself. And you didn’t even buy me dinner first.  
“But that’s all I have for you tonight. You’ve been wonderful and I appreciate you listening. And not, like, booing me off the stage. Goodnight everybody.” _

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
u guys are much nicer than when i was a kid. feels weird to be a hashtag for a good thing and not a breakdown. i’m telling him he’s trending btw. 

****

****

**tozierstan™**  
@trashmanstan  
*elphaba voice a la the wizard and i*  
Did that really just happen? #toziersanfrancisco #mysteryman

**TMZ ✓**  
@TMZ  
Comedian Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier comes out as gay in first show since infamous LA breakdown nearly a year ago. Who’s the mystery man in the audience? Let’s discuss.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I’m very proud of my friend @trashmouthtozier and I am not spilling any of the confidential information I have in regards to the #mysteryman. I’m not facing Richie’s wrath.

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Richie Tozier Just Came Out as Gay and I’m Having a Moment 

**billiam denbrough can get it**  
@billiamdenbroughh  
Guess who’s watched this clip on youtube and cried four times! It’s me! I did! 

**Entertainment Weekly ✓**  
@EW  
Who’s Richie Tozier’s #mysteryman? Let’s go over the possibilities.

 **tozierstan™**  
@trashmanstan  
A part of me is like richie deserves to tell us who he’s dating when and if he wants to but the feral part of my brain is like….more please #mysteryman

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
I’m way flattered by your guesses that I’m the #mysteryman but Richie said I’m supposed to tell you that “you’re really hot ben but you’re not my type and don’t let the people think that.” I’m not sure if that’s really an insult or not but that’s what I can offer you

**E! News**  
@enews  
Watch: Comedian Richie Tozier comes out in personal bit yesterday at San Fran show.

**Out of context Richie Tozier**  
@ooctozier  
A THREAD: I run this account for fun bc I like Richie but I’d like to take a moment to personally say that I will continue to support and love Richie. It takes guts to come out in such a public way. I know some jokes have been off color in the past. <

And since we’ve learned that he didn’t used to write is own stuff, I can’t help thinking about how he had to say all those jokes, especially the vaguely homophobic and heterosexist ones, being a gay man. 

We make fun of his older stuff but I look forward to hearing his new work and maybe finding out who the #mysteryman is when and if they both decide to share that information.

Regardless I look forward to finding more out of context quotes for you, and watching Richie be happy. Xoxo

**stream Attic Room now!**  
@horrorfanatic  
I am getting emotional over those new photos of @trashmouthtozier from last night where he’s outside the venue. He looks better somehow. Idk i can’t explain it but it made me want to cry.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Richie and I have been friends for a long time, and I love and support him now just as much as I did then. I could not be prouder of him. And yes, I see your tweets, no I will not share.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
I was at the San Francisco show and I’m going to lose my mind if whenever Richie Tozier reveals the #mysteryman and I saw him there.

**LAT Entertainment ✓**  
@latimesent  
Opinion: I’m proud of Richie Tozier. Here’s why you should be too.

**Richie Tozier News**  
@RTnews  
I spent three hours going through every person on Twitter that Richie is following, and found several people who don’t appear to be celebrities that he’s following. It didn’t really help me in my search but narrowed it down slightly. Or it didn’t. I don’t know actually.

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
#mysteryman has been trending off and on for three days. Let’s see what we know.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
I’m not the #mysteryman. But thank you for all of the compliments I guess?  


**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier PLEASE come collect your fans.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris Stan is by far one of the coolest people I know but it’s not him! 

**I’m the Trashman**  
@generaltozierdumpster  
I think that the fact that we’re all so desperate to see who it is @trashmouthtozier is dating is funny but like… he doesn’t owe it to us to tell us anything. Especially if he was in the closet so long and had a hard time coming out. He might want to keep this private for a while and I do respect that. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I told him that he should change his twitter handle to mystery man and he said no :(

**toziertrash™**  
@trashmanstan  
I’m going to hyperventilate bc it’s confirmed that the mysteryman has a twitter and for sure saw all our stalker tweets  
**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@trashmanstan he thinks you all are funnier than me don’t worry

**toziertrash ™**  
@trashmanstan  
I’M GOING TO EXPLODE RICH TOZIER SAW MY TWEET? AM I LIVING REAL ACTUAL LIFE? SOMEBODY PINCH ME

**Buzzfeed Celeb✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Guess who Richie Tozier just introduced the world to? 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Eds if you could tell the people one thing what would you say?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier is not funny and he never has been. Good thing I love him a lot.


	2. wedding bells?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there a wedding on the horizon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i continue to con you into reading my self indulgent fic

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@Buzzfeed Celeb  
Somebody Please Tell Me if That’s an Engagement Ring on Eddie Kaspbrak’s Finger in This Instagram Post

 **TMZ ✓**  
@TMZ  
Rumors are flying about a possible engagement between Richie Tozier and the infamous mystery man himself. Could there be a wedding in their future?

 **Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
When and if Richie and Eddie decide to get married, they’ll be the ones to tell you and it’s certainly not going to come from me.

 **Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
Don’t look at me either. Ask Bill he runs this show.

 **Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@stanuris that’s true actually though, Big Bill runs this place. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenrough  
@stanuris I’m also not at liberty to say anything. 

**Richie Tozier News**  
@RTnews  
Are #Reddie tying the knot? Signs seem to point to yes. But as soon as it’s confirmed or denied, I will share it with you.

 **bill denbrough’s bad ending stan**  
@imentitledtomywrongopinion  
I’ve done some sleuthing and the ring that’s on Eddie’s finger in the latest Insta post was not there in a post from Tuesday of last week. That being said, that isn’t definitive enough proof. But much to think about.

 **richie tozier’s ugly red shirt**  
@thatredshirt  
if my parents get married i’m going to cry i s2g

 **franny**  
@francescakathleen  
@thatredshirt they have SUCH dad energy it’s really p wholesome i hope that if they are engaged they’re enjoying it

**POPSUGAR ✓**  
@POPSUGAR  
Are Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak enganaged? A definite timeline of their relationship and all the evidence that points to yes. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Last night I forgot to do the dishes and this morning at breakfast, Eddie looked at me over the newspaper and said, unprompted “you know 60 to 80 percent of second marriages end in divorce.”

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Me: is this because of the dishes?  
Eds: it’s just an interesting fact to consider  
But yeah, we’re engaged you all were right

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
It’s been like two weeks. I’ve never had a fiancé before. If you thought I was annoying before just wait till I can say “husband.”

 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
It’s common knowledge now that Richie and I are engaged and I want to cut the bullshit for a second and say that I’ve actually never been happier than I am right now.

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek cute cute cute!

 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier Ok the moment’s gone now. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhansom  
Thank God I did not want to keep that secret for much longer I was going to tell

 **Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Congrats you two! I’m surprised you kept it a secret that long.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon I’m pretty good at keeping secrets. The secret is you just shove it down really far and pretend it doesn’t exist.

 **Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@richietozier Patty says to tell you that’s not healthy behavior

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Patty said that? Tell her I’m sorry I’ll try my best and tell her I miss her

 **toziertrash™**  
@trashmanstan  
I took a nap and woke up to an official announcement!! I am so excited! 

**E! News ✓**  
@enews  
Just in: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak announce engagement in new Instagram post: “We’re gettin’ hitched baby.”


	3. thread #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie Tozier quotes as Musicals: A Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing these give me a serious mental boost that i could sure use right now, so brief apology for the spam!
> 
> this is obviously based off every [BLANK] as John Mulaney quotes because I am a john mulaney stan first
> 
> these are mostly musicals that i know/have seen/know well

**Richie Tozier Retweeted**

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Out of context Richie Tozier quotes as musicals bc he’s ten times funnier than he used to be and I have too much time on my hands: A THREAD

Hamilton  
“Kids beating the shit out of each other is just the modern day equivalent of dueling at sunrise and I stand by that.”

Waitress  
“Sometimes you accidentally become involved in a marriage you have no business in and that rarely works out as well as it did for me so be careful about that.”

Dear Evan Hansen  
“I’ve been lying to you all for...several years now.”

Phantom of the Opera  
“So I said, will you quit fucking screeching?”

Wicked  
“You know I didn’t own a broom until like a year ago?”

Hadestown  
“I told him ‘hey if you died I would legally be obligated to come after you and drag you back.’”

Heathers  
“We were like a little gang except nobody liked us and we were all four feet nothing and had weak arms but we could definitely kill if we had to.”

Natash, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812  
“What, and I can’t stress this enough, the fuck was Tolstoy talking about?”

The Book of Mormon  
“You ever just spend so much time with somebody that you just sorta become friends?

Les Mis  
“Bev brought this fancy ass bread to the party and I stole the entire loaf and ate only that for the whole party.”

Rent  
“When I first moved to LA people would tell me prices of things and I would be like ‘do I look to you, like I can give you that amount?’”

West Side Story  
“I fell asleep on the fire escape last time so.”

Cats  
“I still don’t really know what all of that was about but maybe I’m not supposed to.”

Sweeny Todd  
“More murders than I expected, but still a solid like 7 outta 10 you know?”

Newsies  
“Someone please tell me why kids have to do everything?"

Bonus:  
The Rocky Horror Picture Show  
“You all know Eddie of course.”

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@jennywilkes2 I am losing my mind at this


	4. childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, 100k words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang discuss childhood crushes, marriage, and twitter tries to puzzle out ben's tweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it four days in a row with mediocre losers content! 
> 
> will this momentum end? more than likely!

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhansom  
I’m losing my mind thinking about how we all went our separate ways and then somehow ended up with our childhood crushes again. I think it just shows that if you really do love somebody then you find your way back to them.

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
You’re a fucking sap Haystack 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
You mean you all gathered and cheated on your spouses with each other.

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris the implication that i was married is one you need to take back

 **Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris I love my wife

 **Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@stanuris We love your wife too man

 **Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@stanuris PATTY PATTY PATTY

 **Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I’m thankful that Patty is there to help me manage the boys

 **Hannah B**  
@HannahBanana  
The implications here...much to think about….

 **Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@HannahBanana It really be slow burn, childhood friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love (or not) 100k words huh?

 **mrs mash**  
@bevstan  
I’m losing my shit at bev tweeting about how she and stan’s wife have to like wrangle the boys whenever they’re all together. I mean the sheer chaos that must be in that room when they’re all together. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I really think we’re not focusing enough on ben’s tweet. All of them….childhood crushes??? Who’s was whose if richie’s was eddie’s and vice versa? That still leaves several. Assuming stan’s doesn’t matter bc he drinks i love my wife juice for breakfast everyday

 **taylor**  
@taylormade  
A follow up to that regardless of anything else i am incredibly jealous of anybody who is dating @mikeyhanlon that man is STUNNING

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@taylormade ur right

 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
I also think we’re not discussing how Ben exposed the fact that at least one marriage was destroyed in the process of us meeting up last year. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@eddiek we all knew about you Eddie, Richie called himself a homewrecker in his last show

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom it’s also not fair to say that we all ended up w our childhood crushes cause we were all in love w bill even if it was a little bit and mostly platonic and we didn’t all end up with bill

 **Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier don’t BS all of twitter

 **Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough he’s not BSing anybody he’s right

 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc that’s fair yeah

 **Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
This is thoroughly embarrassing.

 **Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbrough I’m sure you’re blushing about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always
> 
> remember: blacklivesmatter- do what you can. sign petition, protest if it is safe and realistic for you to do so, educate yourself and others, and VOTE!


	5. only on netflix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Netflix has news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with the mediocre losers club content

**Netflix Is A Joke ✓**  
@NetflixIsAJoke  
November 13.  
Richie Tozier: Here’s A Truth  
Only on Netflix.

 **taylor**  
@taylormade  
I really woke up and immediately screeched logging onto twitter

 **Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Richie kept this close to the chest but I am so excited to see this one.

 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc it’s not that funny. I’ve seen it several times. 

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmouthstan  
The fact that i’m about to have access to new content? The reaction gif potential? The batshit insane stories we’re inevitably going to hear? Give the man an emmy now and save us all the trouble.

 **Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
I made a bet with Richie that if Netflix ever gave him the time of day we would get a Netflix subscription, so if you have Netflix recommendations, at least help me get my money’s worth.

 **Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
And of course I’m proud of him, he’s one of my best friends. And I’m also glad that he has a larger audience than just us to bother.

 **bill denBROugh**  
@billbruh  
BITCH! A COMEDY SPECIAL? ON NETFLIX?

 **Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
If the words “sloppy bitch” are not said? I will demand my money back

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom I don’t get to live that one down?

 **Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@trashmouthtozier doesn’t look like it man

 **katy**  
@katykat  
Do-do i want to know who the sloppy bitch is?

**Richie Tozier ✓**

@trashmouthtozier  
@katykat the child serial killer that hunted us as children and adults. not one of my best moments. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@trashmouthtozier that clarified nothing. thank you.

 **tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
I think we need a buzzfeed unsolved episode on whatever the everloving fuck happened in the losers club’s childhood. there’s just...so much to unpack. maybe a whole season.

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Thanks for all the preemptive support of a special that is two months away from being available. I hope it doesn’t suck that bad.

 **Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier that was...almost vulnerable of you.

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough disgusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are well in these times. Remember to take care of yourselves and those you love.


	6. #hanbrough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bill starts a thread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who got absolutely RUN OVER by the hanbrough train. i know i have them tagged, so i wanted a little chapter about them. 
> 
> don't worry. the emmy's will be here soon.
> 
> p.s stephen king is letting me borrow bill as my "character i project everything onto" for a bit so don't worry.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
As I’m sure you’ve seen in tabloids and blogs by now, Audra and I decided to get a divorce several months ago. It’s for the best for both parties, and I, of course, still love her very much. It is a mutual decision, and I wish her nothing but happiness. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
The reasons are not important, and I want you to know that both of us are going to be happier this way. We remain friends, and will continue our professional relationship. We’ve both changed so much since we first got married, and those people who married no longer exist. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
That’s ok. People change and grow, and as Eddie will tell you (like he told me), a divorce isn’t the end of the world. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
There are several reasons why I’m telling you this. I wanted you to hear it from me, rather than speculation on reasons or whose fault it is online or in magazines. It’s really no one’s fault. I don’t want you to get that impression. But I also want to tell you that I’ve started seeing someone new. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Mike and I are, as you know, childhood friends. We’ve been through some very tough things together, and listening to Richie talk about his own experiences coming out, I realized several things about my own feelings. I’m sure he’ll never get off his high horse about that.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I don’t have a label for what my identity is right now. Maybe that’s ok. Bisexual seems to fit. But what I care about right now is just Mike. Whatever that makes me. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I know this means some of you will never read anything I publish ever again, and that’s fine. That’s your choice as a reader. But I am not going to hide this part away anymore because of that. I’m very happy with Mike, and I have plans to continue this happiness for a long time. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
That’s all I wanted to say. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it. I’m disappearing for a few days. I’ll be back soon!

**taylor  
@taylormade**  
Can’t believe I’m jealous of number one bestselling author bill denbrough and not because he’s working my dream job but because of the absolutely STUNNING man he is dating. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough and @mikeyhanlon I absolutely adore both of you. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough HELL YEAH BIG BILL. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
I’m so excited to see you telling everybody. I love you guys so much. 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
I have no clue when I became so invested in richie tozier’s childhood friend group but I actually teared up reading bill’s tweets.

**bill denBROugh**  
@billbruh  
If richie and eddie are reddie, what’s bill and mike’s ship name?

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billbruh bike? It’s kinda fun

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@taylormade we call them Hanbrough

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@eddiek as you should. Thank you for letting us know this v important information.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
I want to wish Bill and Mike nothing but the best. I’m so happy for them both and I’m sending all my love that way. Patty says she is too.

**Buzzfeed Books ✓**  
@BuzzfeedBooks  
Horror Author Bill Denbrough comes out on Twitter in a heartfelt thread. See more below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've gotten so much positivity on this fic and i'm so, so thankful to all of you for reading. this is really self indulgent and the fact that other people are enjoying it makes me so happy.
> 
> as always, stay safe. times are tough. there's still work to be done. i'm always around to talk. my tumblr can be found in my bio.


	7. marketing 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> somebody's tied the knot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again with the mediocre twitter content

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Is now a good time to tell you all that Eddie and I are legally married? Or should I wait till more people are online? 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier As opposed to illegally married?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc as opposed to what my good catholic upbringing would call “living in sin”

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BevMarshInc thank you for the clarification. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
It’s why we were all at that lake house in Maine, that’s why. It was a very lovely ceremony. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I got ordained for the whole thing. Richie called me and asked me to do so. Now I’m ordained. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
We don’t all get together nearly as much as we should, given everybody’s schedules, and it was super nice to reunite under good circumstances. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhancom   
Even if somebody (not naming names) got drunk and cried about how much they love Richie.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
@benjaminhanscom Gee! Wonder who that was! 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@eddiek we may never know. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Contrary to what you may think we did NOT go to Derry to get married. Imagine setting foot in that town voluntarily? But we did go back to Maine and got married on a bridge with the people we love the most in the world. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I promise you’ll understand the whole bridge thing when you see Here’s A Truth, streaming only on Netflix beginning November 13.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier Did you just use our wedding to promote yourself?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek that's the one marketing class I took in college coming to the surface. 

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
Tag urself i’m richie asking if now was a good time to tell us he got married when it was one a.m on the west coast

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@trashmanstan I’m using your wedding to market your upcoming Netflix special and it working bc...i would like to know about the bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always. stay safe, stay well, and remember i'm always around to talk.


	8. thread #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie tells a story about getting stuck in an elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! 
> 
> this story has gotten _so_ much love and i really didn't expect it. 
> 
> I've been a little off the past few days but i have several chapters lined up for y'all. thank you so much for all your kudos, comments, bookmarks etc. it means so much i can't even begin to tell you.
> 
> this chapter is not myra friendly . just an fyi. 
> 
> enjoy!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Had an absolutely bonkers experience stuck in a New York City elevator and obviously I have to share it with the internet so here’s a really long thread about it.

Was in NYC over the weekend unchaperoned (a.k.a Eddie was at home) and got stuck in the hotel elevator for about an hour with a woman, her husband, and their teenage daughter. 

I should save this for a bit, but to be honest, I haven’t laughed so hard as I did when I got back to my room that I really need to share it right now so pretend I’m telling it to you after you’ve given me your money.

Side note: Eddie did not think this was as funny as I did. But he did laugh a little bit.

The couple are trying to make small talk with me. Keep in mind it’s like ten thirty at night, I’m exhausted, and still on LA time and at this point there’s been no indication that being stuck in this elevator isn’t our new home forever.

The husband: Not claustrophobic are you?  
Me: Not particularly. I’m afraid of clowns though. You don’t have a red nose in your pocket?  
This, I would be told later, was another example of me using humor at inappropriate times. 

Thankfully he thought it was funny.  
We stand in silence for a little while longer. 

Me: Are you guys on vacation?  
Her: Oh yes. We’re from upstate. You?  
Me: Work. 

Her: we’re on our anniversary trip.  
She and the husband smile at each other. Keep in mind their daughter has been on her phone, headphones in the whole time. I respect that about her.

Me, remembering that I should be nice: Oh how nice. How long have you been married?  
Her: Twenty years.  
Me: wow. Good for you.  
Her: Are you married?  
Me: Oh yeah, I just got married.  
Her: Oh well congratulations to you then.  
Me: thanks. 

She then, unprompted, begins to talk about marriage and divorce. I think maybe she was nervous about being stuck in the elevator and was a nervous talker, and so I just listened while she talked you know? Some people are nervous talkers and it was kind of a stressful situation. 

Her: It seems that all my friends are getting divorced now. It’s a shame.  
Me: Right. Of course.  
Her: You’ll never guess what happened to my friend Myra about two years ago.  
Me, sweating nervously but aware that is a pretty common name: What happened?

I briefly consider prying the elevator doors open, but figure Eddie would be mad if I fell down the elevator shaft or something.

Her: Her husband went back to his hometown unexplained. Just up and left one day. I say to her, Myra, he’s probably having an affair when she calls me but she doesn’t buy it. Then when he’s there he gets in this crazy freak accident. I mean outta nowhere.  
Me, wondering what the odds are of her talking about someone else: wow.

Her: And she goes to the hospital when they call her, only for, when he wakes up, him to tell her he’s leaving her for some comedian who looked like he got hit by a bus. Those were her words not mine. But he gets out of the hospital and he means it. It wasn’t just the painkillers talking. He asks for a divorce.

Side note: what a weird description? Hit by a bus? I know I looked like shit but still.

Anyway, she goes on to explain that: they had a messy divorce and now he lives in California somewhere. I guess with this comedian. I don’t know who he is or anything but he can’t be that good, but it sounds like I’m making it up. 

Me: Yeah it sounds pretty wild.  
Which it does.  
At this point, I realize the daughter is not, in fact, listening to music, but instead, listening to our conversation and she looks like she’s about to burst out laughing. I can’t look at her otherwise I’m gonna lose it too.

Her, shaking her head: It’s a shame I guess. Looks like I was right when I tell her he’s having an affair. She just didn’t want to believe it. She told me the whole thing when she got back. 

Me, remembering the time Myra and I got into a yelling fight in the hospital parking lot. And the time we got into a fight after one of the meetings to draw up the divorce. And the other time we got into a fight in the lawyer’s office. Mostly she yelled a lot. Was very controlling.

Me: unfortunate yeah. 

When we finally get out of the elevator, the girl pulls her headphones out and tells me that she’s a big fan and she’s really happy that Myra’s husband is happy now. She was the bright spot of that fucking mess. Kid, if you ever need help getting a job or anything just let me know.

I mean. Small fucking world right? Holy shit. New York has 8 million people in it and I’m stuck in an elevator with my husband’s ex wife’s friend. I felt like I was being pranked. 

Anyway, besides that batshit crazy encounter, New York was great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always! the netflix storyline coming up was so much fun to write, so I hope you end up enjoying it as much as i did! first bit should be up tomorrow or the next day.
> 
> this chapter mentions some of my own head canons about an eddie lives scenario, and maybe they'll be further expanded on in a later chapter.
> 
> stay safe, stay healthy.


	9. streaming now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the reviews start coming in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shortish but necessary chapter beginning a small arc of chapters. there will be filler content in between, but i'd like to have several short arcs in this entire work.

**Stream Here’s A Truth Now!**  
@richietoziermemes  
I woke up at midnight to watch the new special. 10/10 worth it. Here’s A Truth is now up on Netflix! 

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
Losing my gd mind at “sometimes the real clown is you and your internalized and repressed sexuality” i’m not even entirely sure what he was talking about but big fan

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@sandradee maybe the real clown was the feelings we repressed along the way 

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Richie Tozier’s Netflix special just dropped. Read our (glowing) review now!

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
Patty (and I) agree that objectively, at least on my part, Richie’s new special is very good. And yes, I really did say that at my Bar Mitzvah. I had forgotten to mention that to Patty, who has in turn mentioned it seven (7) times since breakfast.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
here’s a truth is absolutely hysterical but i want to take a moment and be soft about the part where he talked about carving his and eddie’s initials onto the bridge when he was a kid, and then taking eddie back there when they were adults to see it. I am Soft about that big time.

**POPSUGAR ✓**  
@POPSUGAR  
The ten best quotes from the new “Here’s a Truth” special, streaming now only on Netflix.

**Netflix Is A Joke ✓**  
@NetflixIsAJoke  
Richie Tozier: Here’s A Truth covers everything from creeps in clown costumes, childhood rock fights, public transport, and Bill Denbrough’s Florida cottage. Streaming now only on Netflix.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
The reason Richie is so quiet on Twitter today is because he was worried about early reviews and made me change his password, but he is really glad to hear you all thought it was funny.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I’ve emerged from my writing cave (a.k.a the living room) to tell you that despite my deadline, I had to watch Richie’s show and it was amazing. I’m retreating again I promise. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Idk how Richie did it, but somehow he managed to make us seem...kinda cool? Like we didn’t actively brand ourselves as Losers? Gotta give props where props are due. I’d give him an award for that alone. 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@benjaminhanscom shhh let’s the illusion continue. It’s really sticking it to...everyone we went to school with

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@mikeyhanlon “yeah we might have all been prime targets for bullying in the late 80s, but at least we seem cool in a Netflix stand up special.”

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@eddiek who could ask for anything more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, y'all have been so so wonderful in reading this stupid little story i wrote to self indulge myself in a kind of tough time for me. of course if there's events, characters etc you would like to see feel free to let me know! I have several chapters written in advance, but i'd love to write what y'all want to read!
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy.
> 
> stay safe, stay healthy


	10. a b&b if you will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's benverly's turn in the hot seat

**E! News ✓**  
@enews  
Surprise Wedding: Fashion icon Beverly Marsh and architect Ben Hanscom tied the knot in a private ceremony this past week. Congrats!

**Beverly Marsh Fashion ✓**  
@BMFOffical  
Congrats to our lovely and amazing founder @BeverlyMarshInc. Isn’t that dress amazing? 

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
Not that i’m engaged….but if Bev was to release a wedding dress line? I might start saving now. 

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Every Photo We Have of Beverly Marsh’s Stunning Wedding Gown (that she designed!)

**Richie Tozier**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I got to be (Bev’s maid of honor? Best man? Best maid?) whatever at her and Ben’s wedding last week and it was absolutely wonderful. These are two people who I loved and care for deeply, and seeing them finally tie the knot was an amazing experience. 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Finally able to publicly congratulate Ben and Bev on their wedding. There was not a dry eye in the house I think.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Thank you for all the well wishes. Bev, my love, I adore you and I am so looking forward to starting this chapter with you. Your hair is winter fire. January Embers.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@benjaminhanscom my heart burns there too.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
This is...so soft. And we now have confirmation of Ben’s tweet from a little while ago about the childhood crushes. Richie and Eddie, Bill and Mike, Ben and Beverly. Plus Stan and Patty who I think are on another level of romance and therefore are outliers. 

**frankie m**  
@fmradio  
Ben and Bev. A B & B if you will. Bed and Breakfast. It’s fate.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Shoutout to Ben for writing one (1) poem in his entire life and somehow managing to put it into his wedding vows and, despite my having heard it several times, making me cry.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouttozier you have never written me a poem

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouttozier  
@eddiek everything I write is for you.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier that’s ok thanks.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
Ben and Bev we both wish you a long and happy marriage. You’ve earned it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all rock
> 
> stay safe, stay healthy


	11. nomination day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> emmy noms go up! richie's sleepy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this a few days ago but I'm here now! I've been a little off my writing jag but hopefully I can come back to y'all.

**Richie Tozier News**  
@RTnews  
ICYMI: Emmy noms went up! Here’s A Truth has been nominated for the Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special award. See the blog post below!

**E! News ✓**  
@enews  
A complete list of Emmy nominations, and our viewing recommendations. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Huge congrats to Riche on the nomination. You deserve it. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I’m so excited for Richie, and I can also assure you that he is probably still asleep right now, which means he’s going to have quite a lot of notifications when he wakes up.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Can’t wait to never let it go that richie slept through his OWN EMMY NOMINATION

**bill denbrough’s bad ending stan**  
@imentitledtomywrongopinion  
The fact that like bill and beverly and all of them are friends...it hits different. 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Can’t believe I’ve been conned into watching the Emmys. Point one for them. 

**Sloppy Bitch!**  
@richietoziermemes  
Imagine if we get to make memes from an award acceptance speech? I don’t think I will know how to behave. 

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
@richietoziermemes I think i’m really going to go feral. 

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
I guess we STAY winning huh? I knew being a stan like four years ago would eventually pay off

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@trashmouthtozier are you up or?

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier you better win this. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Why am I trending? What did I do? 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Oh shit! 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Thank you for all the well wishes, congratulations, vague threats etc. 

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Richie Tozier got nominated for an Emmy, slept through it, and responded in the most Richie Tozier way possible.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
He’s going to be even more insufferable now. 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
Congratulations Richie. I do love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always!
> 
> stay safe and healthy!


	12. thread #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> opinions on the Loser Club (tm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 100 percent just me talking and is a Big Filler Chapter

**losers™**  
@losersstan  
Objective Opinions on the Losers Club  
(a thread)  
Disclaimer: i love and am attracted to all of them. Objective is a lie. I am very biased.

Richie Tozier  
(@trashmouthtozier)  
\- big disaster energy  
\- apparently called a serial killer a sloppy bitch. an absolute mad lad  
-got his significant other trending w/out even naming him  
-came out live on stage and we decided to stan  
-slept through an emmy nomination  
-evidently fought his husband’s ex in a parking lot?

Eddie Kaspbrak  
(@eddiek)  
-probably the most done with richie’s antics  
-seems like he knows what he’s talking about  
-i would trust him if i was in trouble  
-apparently a human GPS?  
-i’m very attracted to him idk what else to tell you

Mike Hanlon  
(@mikeyhanlon)  
\- absolutely stunning  
-nice librarian man  
-would probably be very comforting and probably gives good hugs  
-tweets pictures of the books he likes  
-has for sure read countless works of bill’s that we will never see good or bad

Beverly Marsh  
(@BeverlyMarshInc)  
-the prettiest woman on earth  
-she could throw me down a well and i would thank her tbh  
-idk anything about fashion but she is Good at it  
-she just looks like she could kick ass if she needed too idk how to explain it to you  
-if i met her i think i would cry

Bill Denbrough  
(@billdenbrough)  
-can’t write endings  
-but makes up for it by dating the aforementioned mike hanlon  
-seems like he also has disaster energy  
-i’m pretty sure that’s a kid’s bike he’s always riding in photos and stuff  
-the others are all in love w him a little bit  
-i think that's very valid

Stan Uris  
(@stanuris)  
-an absolute icon  
-can and will call you out on twitter especially if you’re richie  
-seems to understand the maths which is a feat in itself  
-sometimes tweets pictures of birds he sees and it makes me v soft whenever i see them  
-LOVES his wife

Ben Hanscom  
(@benjaminhanscom)  
-i trust him with my life also  
-wrote one poem in his life apparently  
-a poet, if you will  
-owns cowboy boots  
-in love with bev so he has good taste

Bonus! Patty Uris  
\- idk really that much about her  
-but they all love her  
-she’s literally gorgeous from the two pictures that seem to exist of her anywhere on the internet  
\- i get good vibes from her  
-pls mrs. uris get a twitter ily and i would love to hear ur thoughts on stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to plug myself too much (even tho that's what i'm doing) i've started writing 90s reddie! give it a glance if you're interested! 
> 
> thanks as always!


	13. the deadlights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill's new book is announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can y'all tell that i exist more on book stan twitter than entertainment stan twitter?

**Buzzfeed Books ✓**  
@BuzzfeedBooks  
Just Announced: Bill Denbrough’s new novel The Deadlights his “most personal novel yet”, out next Summer. 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Alright Bill stans how we feeling? We feeling good? We dusting off our bookshelves? Getting ready to fancast and lose our shit?

**katy**  
@katykat  
it’s marginally concerning that a horror novel can be really personal especially given the shit richie talks about but i am EXCITED to have NEW BILL DENBROUGH CONTENT IN MY LIFE

**Barnes and Noble ✓**  
@BarnesandNoble  
We’ve got an exclusive first look at The Deadlights, out next summer, from bestseller Bill Denbrough. Click the link to read!

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
*taps mic* is this thing on? Looks like we’re back in business, baby.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Losing my goddamn mind at that title 

**bill denbrough’s bad ending stan**  
@imentitledtomywrongopinion  
Ok I read the little snippet and I have THOROUGHLY convinced that each one of the losers is one of the characters

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
@imentitledtomywrongopinion i think that ethan is richie and i’m dying on that hill. 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@sandradee you’re right i think. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Would love to unpack what a “deadlight” is bc it doesn’t...sound good? But we didn’t hear anything about it in the snippet. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@taylormade they suck

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
While that did not answer my question you will have to excuse me while i have a breakdown at the fact that Bev Marsh saw my tweet. See y’all later! 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc true they do.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Richie you KNEW not to look at them! 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon I have never listened to a single person in my life Mikey and I wasn’t about to start then. I make no exceptions for “incidents with potentially deadly consequences”

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
That’s by far the most Richie Tozier statement I have ever heard.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Can buzzfeed unsolved PLEASE figure out what the hell the losers did? I have more questions everyday. 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@eddiek please come collect your husband

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@stanuris bold of you to think he listens to me. 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Ok i’ve read the snippet three times and used all my critical thinking skills to tell you that yes i agree that ethan is richie, i think george is bill, veronica is bev (this one is sorta easy) 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Continuing from previous i think franky is mike, james is stan, daniel is eddie and luke is ben. I will be elaborating when i recharge my brain

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh i think you’re right especially the way they interacted with each other. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Pretty wild that everybody already had their theories about a book that’s not out for another 6+ months and I hope you enjoy it as much when you read it as you do right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always. take care of yourselves.


	14. q and a

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie convinces Eddie to do a Twitter Q and A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is by far the plotless chapter yet

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Finally conceived eddie to do a q and a so ask your q’s and get your a’s

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@eddiek do you guys have nicknames for each other?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@jennywilkes2 richie calls me every variation of my name, several of which are the dumbest things i have ever heard, but we also call each other asshole, dipshit, and things of that nature. But also he calls me babe and I call him sweetheart.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@eddiek who’s your favorite member of one direction?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@taylormade Richie said to say Harry. So Harry.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@eddiek Do you like me or Richie more?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough Mike

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@eddiek what’s your favorite joke of richie’s?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmanstan “I’m going to do the dishes tonight Eds.” Makes me laugh every time. 

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
@eddiek Are Richie’s stories about your childhood exaggerated?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@sandradee they’re actually an understatement

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@eddiek do you get tired of living with Richie?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc I wish, but surprisingly no.

**Katy**  
@katykat  
@eddiek was it a joke or were you all really in love with bill when you were kids

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@katykat I promise it’s not a joke. Bill was easy to fall in love with and it embarasses him big time. 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@eddiek it’s not a question really, Patty just wanted to get involved. So she says hello.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@stanuris Hi Patty! Looking forward to seeing you two next month. 

**Lucy Woods**  
@lucywoods  
@eddiek how do you take your coffee?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@lucywoods caffeine’s not good for you but black and several times a day. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek how much do you really love me?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier more than anything but you annoy the shit out of me 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@eddiek will you finally admit to wearing a fanny pack as a child?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@benjaminhanscom no. 

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
@eddiek have u ever seen twilight?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@richietoziermemes recently yes. Till death do us part really gets to you when you watch your husband recite scenes from it as you sit next to him both impressed and horrified.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@eddiek will you please tell Bill to get off twitter and get back to writing. He doesn’t listen to me.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@mikeyhanlon Bill do what Mike says you have a deadline to meet.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I’ve been trying to come up with this the whole time but: Q AND A WITH EDDIE K 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Eddie unblock me that was genius and you know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always!


	15. red carpet special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the Emmy's red carpet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back and (mostly alive) been real outta sorts lately but i think i'm getting back

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Alright alright i got my popcorn and i’m just in time for the red carpet

**E! News ✓**  
@enews  
Watch lives: Emmys red carpet. Clink the link below!

**katy**  
@katykat  
Can I just say, from the bottom of my heart, that Eddie looks,,,so good? #EmmyAwards

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat when ur right ur right

**Hollywood Reporter ✓**  
@thehollywoodreporter  
We’re live on the Emmy’s #RedCarpet now with several of tonight's nominees!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
im p sure my dad has the tie richie’s wearing rn 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Thrilled to see so many of my designs on the #RedCarpet tonight. Everyone looks stunning, and I hope you love them as much as I do.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Also very happy to know that Eddie had to wrangle Richie into a suit while I’m in my PJs drinking wine on the sofa w Ben.

**katy**  
@katykat  
I can’t get over the fact that Richie just told a reporter that he and Stan have a bet on who’s going to win. And that Stan’s betting on him!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat that’s real friendship. Roasting the shit outta someone on twitter but then betting real human money on the fact that they’ll win a pretty major award.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade you’re right it’s actually big friendship goals

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmouthstan  
I just remembered that Eddie has a whole ex wife. Imagine you get a divorce and turn on the TV to this?

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
I mean it. I have good feelings about our boy tonight. #EMMYs

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Would also like to formally announce that I have never seen Richie in a suit and I might go feral about it.

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
I’m sorry did Richie just say he has star wars keychain?

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
I’M SORRY DID RICHIE JUST PULL OUT HIS LIGHTSABER KEYCHAIN ON THE EMMYS RED CARPET? 

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
YES I WILL MAKE EDDIE’S FACE A MEME I PROMISE I WILL

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
You buy a friend a keychain at Disney because you think he might like it and suddenly it’s on national television. 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Ok y’all fingers crossed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always.


	16. sponsored by men's wearhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the awards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had this chapter written for like....a week and a half i think

**Emmy Award Winner Richie Tozier Stan**  
@trashmanstan  
The new name says it all. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Gonna limit the emotional shit. Already did that last night. But thanks for all the kindness you’ve shown me. I appreciate it. Hope you keep sticking around. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris you want cash or check?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Can I put Emmy Award Winner Richie Tozier’s friend in my resume?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom I put that Mike’s my friend in mine so 

**Twitter Fashion ✓**  
@TwitterFashion  
The ten best looks from the Emmys.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
People saying that my suit was really nice and looked good and who dressed me and all that. It was Men’s wearhouse. Men’s wearhouse dressed me. The two salespeople that were working last week dressed me while Eddie sat outside the dressing room and glared at me.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouttozier  
It’s actually kinda funny. I won’t give details on who they were of course but they asked what the occasion was. And I had to look them in the eye. And say the Emmy Awards. I’m pretty sure even if they recognized me they wouldn’t have believed it.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Multiple people saw what happens when Eddie’s on business trips and doesn’t leave me a to do list. I saw the look of fear when they realized that whatever they suggested would be on national television. You all did good! The internet says so!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouttozier  
@menswearhouse I will tell you however, who you should specifically give a raise to. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Richie, I’m a fashion designer. But congrats on the win I suppose?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc I know but I forgot about that until three days before the awards after Eddie reminded me several times in the months leading up to the event and panic dragged him to the store because it would have been too embarrassing to ask at that point.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouttozier honestly not the worst plan. They have very nice suits there.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
I wish I was lying and could tell you that he doesn’t keep the award on the kitchen table. 

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Here’s the Big Winners and Big Shocks from the Emmys Last Night. 

**Richie Tozier News**  
@RTnews  
Short Read: Richie’s acceptance speech transcript.

_“Oh wow. I’m actually speechless for once. Just kidding, I don’t know how to shut up.”_

_[Light Laughter]_

_“Uh, I obviously want to thank a lot of people for this. Especially my old ghostwriters. I guess you wouldn’t be able to tell any difference if I didn’t used to be horribly unfunny. And of course all the Losers. You know I couldn’t do any of it without you and you know this. I love you all. Especially you, Eds. You made sure I didn’t get a big head because I have never seen you laugh at a single joke of mine.”_

_[Laughter]_

_“You’re the brightest spot in my life though and I mean that in the gushiest and most romantic and disgusting way possible. I don’t think I’d be standing here if it wasn’t for you and the rest of the Losers. It’s rare to have friends who love you unconditionally even if you’ve messed up a lot. And thanks to all of you for watching and sticking by me. Not to be too sappy but I appreciate all of you as well. Anyway let me shut up now. I’m already never gonna live this down. Thank you!”_

_[Cheers and applause]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always!


	17. patricia uris gets a twitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what it says on the tin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all ever get very emotional about patty uris?

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Stan informed me that I’ve had several requests to get a twitter of my own so hi! It’s me!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Finally some good news. Hi Patty!

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@trashmouthtozier Hi Richie!

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@mrspattyuris Patty… darling...light of my life… please don’t encourage him.

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
Hi Mrs. Uris how does it feel to be an internet icon without actually ever having made a significant internet presence before today?

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@sandradee Good I suppose?

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
oh hey Patty! 

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@mikehanlon Hi Mike!

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
You all are under the impression that someone Stan is cool and collected when compared to his friends but I am here to tell you the truth. He’s a big old dork too. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Patty and I are single handedly responsible for five unruly men and sometimes Stan. Stan can go either way. He feeds off the rest of them. 

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@Twitter pls mrs. uris deserves to be verified.  
**franky**  
@francescakathleen  
@mrsmarsh you’re right and you should say it

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I’m trying to imagine stan going feral. I can imagine most of them. Ben is a little harder. Mike is very hard. But Stan for sure seems like the most level headed. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade is the scale from stan to richie?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@katykat Eddie and Richie are equal. Eddie likes to pretend otherwise but I think it’s just cause he wears suits and ties and Richie dresses like a middle schooler. Mike and Stan are on the other end of the spectrum for sure.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc Bevvie are you still mad I forgot about the emmys?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc I’m not mad I’m just disappointed. 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc You wound me. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Bev, if I might step in :*nasally little kid voice* hAvE yOu EvEr HeArD oF a StApH iNfEcTiOn?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough I had a point. Also who taught you to type like that?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@taylormade I think Richie probably rubs off on them all. Eddie’s always more chaotic with him.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@billdenbruh you’re right, he does, but I love Richie very much. He's very funny and we danced several times at Ben and Beverly’s wedding. 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@mrspattyuris thank you for sharing this absolutely essential fact with me i hope you have a wonderful day ily 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
I’m not mad about it but Patty has more followers than I do. She’s very proud of that fact. 

**Hannah B**  
@hannahbanana  
Is anybody else kinda soft at patty following literally only the other losers, the american birding association and several very wholesome cat and dog accounts and no one else?

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
I don’t know much about twitter yet but it’s so funny to see how many people love my husband and his friends. I thought it might be weird but it’s very nice actually. 

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Anyway, Stan and I just finished this puzzle so once I figure out how to tweet a picture I’ll show you.

**Hannah B**  
@hannahbanana  
I have literally never been more excited to see a puzzle in my entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always! hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> can you tell i was watching the shining when i wrote this chapter?


	18. hey there clowns, it's me, ya boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of twitter tries to buzzfeed unsolve derry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actively watching buzzfeed unsolved as i write this

**katy**  
@katykat  
I am once again asking the ghoul boys to do an episode about derry and the losers 

**sam winters**  
@sammywinters  
@katykat  
Do you think it would be a true crime or a supernatural episode?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@sammywinters thank you for asking. I have no actual tangible evidence to support supernatural but i vote supernatural 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat i think you do have evidence. Look, let’s buy that richie’s not fucking w us and they really did fight some kind of serial killer. If it was the same person after thirty years almost (which is the vibes i got) there’s something spooky there

**Out of Context Richie Tozier**  
@oocrichietozier  
@taylormade @katykat i also gotta say that if you google derry it seems like kind of a spooky place? But like...underlying. Like that info isn’t just on the surface the energy is just bad

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@katykat Bill also says that a lot of his book material is based on his real life...even if it’s just metaphors or whatever I think maybe there’s more

**katy**  
@katykat  
Also do y’all remember when eddie did his q and a and he said that richie was understating the stuff that happened when they were kids? Like i’m not saying that maybe the serial killer is actually a supernatural entity but….

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
@katykat if we’re going off that, richie talks all the time about a clown and i know we’re like haha we were the real clown all along but like...maybe it really was a clown?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@sandradee i’m glad you brought it up cause i’ve been dying to talk about that. I’m convinced that the “clown” was really a clown. Like yeah richie was repressing his sexuality and maybe wasn’t actually scared of clowns but i genuinely think there might have been a clown.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@katykat @sandradee to be fair clown costume is a p good costume for a serial killer that preys on children.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@jennywilkes2 exactly! Plus if i was a kid and told my parents there was a clown they’d be like yeah sis the circus is in town u ok?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat I would love to offer the fact that they all seem to know what a “deadlight” is and both bev and richie seem to have been directly exposed to them, whatever they are.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat i know richie says shit sometimes but mike also commented on how richie wasn’t supposed to look at them? Idk i can’t find anything online about deadlights but we all agree it doesn’t sound good? Mike doesn’t just say shit.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh good point! I forgot about that! 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Idk do we think aliens or ghosts or? I’m a little but of a skeptic as you can see but i do think there’s more to this story. Especially like googling derry seems like a lot of bad stuff has happened there? A lot for a town no one has ever heard of.  


**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
I would call it all some elaborate prank but frankly stan does not seem like the type and he is an active participant in this. Like he never denies the weird shit or anything.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@jennywilkes2 i’m a bill stan as everybody knows so i would like to offer you this line from the snippet of the deadlights for your consideration.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@jennywilkes2 “Don’t you get it? Nobody would understand, would believe us. We have to do it ourselves.” which isn’t that much but coupled with a few lines later where the character we all think is bill says “It’s no longer about just us. It’s about the town, about every kid who came before us. We have to put a stop to this. If not us, who?”

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
What i’m saying is that when Richie talks about going back to derry, you know when they all went back? Whatever they fought as kids (human or otherwise) came back and they had to stop it then. It was fate or whatever.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh if it was a human i just can’t get down w the fact of the town not solving it on their own you know? Like i know there’s unsolved cases but it’s a fairly large town, with a police force and everything. I think white women with podcasts would have already been making episodes about like “the serial killer of derry maine” if it was just a human.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykaty why is that the most compelling argument i’ve seen today. Richie says all the times that they were kids and had to solve things and maybe because it preyed on children but maybe ONLY KIDS COULD SEE IT?

**Sadie D**  
@sandradee  
@katykat i think that would confirm a supernatural entity and it would explain stuff.  


**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbrough  
I’m not saying I totally buy this cause lots of horror authors rely on their childhoods bc kids exaggerate things, and have more imagination than some adults, and richie also says shit that i know he pulls out of nowhere but i do agree that there’s something about derry that doesnt sit right

**katy**  
@katykat  
I know also that it could be a coping mechanism bc i know that they all had relatively traumatic childhoods, at least from the bits they’ve all shared (obv this is personal information that they do not have to share if they dont want to) and especially with all this selective amnesia stuff they’ve mentioned 

**katy**  
@katykat  
And i don’t expect confirmation on this shit i’m just sayin’ that i think that whatever thing the losers fought as kids and then as adults wasn’t human. I believe in that stuff

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat it also implies that not only did richie call a serial killer a sloppy bitch but he called a non human serial killer a sloppy bitch

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade ASDFKJLASD I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT NO WONDER EDDIE LOOKS SO ANNOYED ALL THE TIME IMAGINE UR HUSBAND DID SHIT LIKE THAT

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I- well all I’m going to say is it might have been nice to have twitter around when we were kids. 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@trashmouthtozier mr tozier is this a confirmation or denial of our guesses?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbruh it’s whatever you make it out to be.

**katy**  
@katykat  
So anyway, I am once again BEGGING SOMEBODY TO INVESTIGATE DERRY MAINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always! 
> 
> i'd love to write what you all want to see, so if you have a specific event/character/setting/etc you'd like to see feel free to lmk here or on tumblr!


	19. losers in the real world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> twitter talks about their oddest/best in person losers club interactions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was fun to write! and was very wholesome (i hope you think so too)

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
I would love to start a thread of just batshit/on brand encounters you have had with the losers club out in the wild.

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
I propose #losersintherealworld as the hashtag. Please give me your great stories!  


**greg h**  
@gregg  
@richietoziermemes stan is my mom’s company’s accountant. at the christmas party last year he drank exclusively diet soda and never left patty’s side. my mom spoke to him briefly and he apparently told her about the owl that lived in our backyard. I guess he’s just like That irl #losersintherealworld 

**87 days until deadlights!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@richietoziermemes i saw bill after one of his book signings & spoke to him for a few minutes (he’s so nice if a little chaotic) and i asked what really inspired his writing bc i hadn’t had the chance earlier and he just kinda looked off into the distance and signed and said “the horror of childhood” (i thought he was just being An Author) but now i’m like…. oh #losersintherealworld 

**mel**  
@bevmarshstanaccount  
@richietoziermemes i saw four of the losers at disney world (bill, mike, eddie, and richie) and richie was wearing two sets of ears (eddie wasn’t wearing any, so i think one set was his) and bill and mike looked like whole dads on vacation with their kids #losersintherealworld 

**Kathleen Benedict**  
@kathleenn  
@richietoziermemes my parents bought me and my gf richie tickets for my bday and afterwards we saw eddie at the bar talking with some people i didn’t know. richie came over and like swung and arm around his shoulders and tried to give him a noogie like a little kid. Eddie looked weirdly fond of him #losersintherealworld 

**jules c**  
@juliet  
@richietoziermemes I’m a fashion student and got to listen to a couple of bev’s talks and meet her a few times when she visited our classes. (she’s so talented i cannot) and she was looking over one of my designs and told me that it was very practical and that she’d love to see it actually put together (this isn’t really that crazy, it just literally keeps me from dropping out of school sometimes) #losersintherealworld 

**Thomas Lee**  
@thomaslee  
@richietoziermemes my grandparents live in florida and i visited the library when i was there and mike was there? I thought i was imagining it but he recommended several good books (one of which was bill’s) and then he gave me a bookmark when i checked them out? 

**multi stan account**  
@stanaccount  
@richietiziermemes (hopes and prays no one from my real life sees this) but i interned at the same company eddie works out last summer (it was really great btw) and i got the opportunity to present some graphs etc and he’s just...so smart? and so helpful? he asked questions in a good way that i was able to answer them and not make an idiot of myself cause i was nervous 1/2

**multi stan account**  
@stanaccount  
@richietoziermemes and after the meeting he let me run a few more questions by him and also told me that i had a lot of potential and he was glad to see people interested in that kind of stuff. Obviously i’m being vague about stuff for professional reasons but it was amazing how nice he is really #losersintherealworld 

**henry**  
@henrywin  
@richietoziermemes i randomly ran into richie in san francisco a few months ago (in a starbucks, where he ordered just a lot of caffeine) and i got up the nerve to tell him that his coming out helped me come out and all and he just...smiled really warmly and said that it was important to be what he didn’t have as a kid? and then i went home and cried about it? #losersintherealworld 

**Katy**  
@katykat  
@richietoziermemes mine is not quite as wholesome i just saw ben on the subway once wearing his cowboy boots and also when we got up out of the station i heard him answer the phone with “hi bevvie” in the SOFTEST tone in the world #losersintherealworld 

**patty uris’ number one fan**  
@pattystan  
@richietoziermemes I’m a waitress and i waited on the whole losers club last month and they left me a huge tip, eddie drank exclusively club soda, and they were SO CHAOTIC with each other. I mean like roasting the shit out of each other. #losersintherealworld 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@richietoziermemes the phrase “let’s kill this fucking clown” while armed with only a baseball bat comes to mind… #losersintherealworld

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@richietoziermemes keeping a yearbook page signed by a girl you didn’t even remember in your wallet for twenty seven years also comes to mind #losersintherealworld

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@richietoziermemes Mike is literally somehow both my biggest fan and harshest critic 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier i dont know why bev feels the need to roast me but when we all reunited she said, and i quote, there’s no way richie’s married. She was right but still it hurt :( #losersintherealworld

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@richietoziermeems richie is failing to mention the sheer number of jokes he’s made about marrying/getting with my mother. Including the reason that Bev said that in the first place. #losersintherealworld

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@richietoziermemes what Eddie is failing to mention is the time that I THOUGHT HIS LAST WORDS TO ME WERE GOING TO BE A YOUR MOM JOKE AS PAYBACK FOR ALL THE ONES I’VE DONE #losersintherealworld

**Richie Tozier Memes**  
@richietoziermemes  
On that note! Idk how we get bigger than that! Your stories were all wonderful. Thank you for participating. #losersintherealworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always! anybody who's spotted the very small succession reference gets bonus points


	20. a sneak peek and a general lovefest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill gives twitter a sneak peak of his book, and Richie gets absolutely dragged over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! i'm here! the days got away from me and i've been in a bit of a funk so i offer you this less than stellar chapter! still hope you dig it.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Really wonderful things in the works both personally and professionally so here’s a sneak peak of The Deadlights, in which somebody talks ad nauseam about their crush. (Don’t worry, the inspiration knows how I made him look and approves it wholeheartedly) Enjoy!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Sir u can’t just drop this on me without warning

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Thoughts coming as soon as I can get them to you.

**katy**  
@katykat  
I’m no expert but the sheer love and trust that this group (and by extension the losers themselves) have in each other is A Lot. And seeing our fanon Richie talk about our fanon eddie is also A Lot for me to handle before i’ve had breakfast

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat i literally cannot tell you how badly i want a very tight knit group of friends who absolutely adore each other. Especially a friendship that turns into an even closer adult friendship.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough this you telling me you knew i had a thing for eddie when we were kids? 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@trashmouthtozier Richie we all knew we were just nice and pretended not to. Same with Ben.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Mike’s the only one to not be obvious about it. I can personally attest to the fact that Eddie did not know. I promise you, Eddie did not know.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
Richie literally just never shut up to me about Eddie. This isn’t even exaggerated for the book honestly.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris I’m hurt stanley.  
**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier you really had all these feelings and instead you exclusively joked about my mother?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek it worked didn’t it?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier Hate that it worked! Hate that you have that satisfaction.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc the internet is just talking about how much we love each other and here you are roasting me ur making us look bad

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier Richie everyday I am thankful that you are happy and in love and no longer have to hide yourself and I love you very much but you are going to use this to your advantage for the rest of your life. And I’m already bracing myself. 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc u made him cry Bevvie

**billdenBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Ok as promised my thoughts. We’ve basically confirmed that ethan is richie and james is stan, as well as daniel being eddie but please put “I don’t know how to be in love with someone like that, who doesn’t even know how much he means to me.” on my grave it hit so hard.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
I suppose it’s a talented writer who can turn “he’s so hot and I’m angry about it Stan” into something actually pretty.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Looking forward to how Bill can make “I fucked your mother” pretty and emotional for the reader.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier I told you I was sorry. It was mostly the blood loss I promise and only a little tiny bit of revenge.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Everyday I log onto twitter I become more and more convinced that somehow this is all an elaborate prank but I know that no matter how batshit the losers get, they’re telling the truth.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh what are your thoughts on the apparent time jumping in the novel? between kids and adults?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat i’m excited about it i think it’s going to be interesting to see adults compared to them as kids? i’m also going to start keeping notes on what i think is just a weird metaphor and what goes in the Buzzfeed Unsolved: Derry edition.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbruh What makes me laugh is that no matter what bill writes, even if it’s word for word what happened to them, with literally just name changes, as a whole, people will think it’s just horror fiction because it’ll be too impossible to believe. It’s just us looking like wild conspiracy theorists trying to figure out if the losers fought an actual clown or just, like, their own inner demons.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Glad to see people enjoying this sneak peak! I don’t have an official release date for you, but when I do, you’ll be the first to know. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I’ve said it before, this novel is very personal for both me as well as the rest of the Losers, and they’ve been very helpful in the writing of this. I couldn’t have done it without them. I love each and every one of you with my entire heart, Patty included! 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I think authors always put something of themselves into their work. No matter what you think is absolutely true, what you think is a metaphor, and what you think is just my imagination, I hope you find something in it as well.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Mike’s reminding me of my deadline, so that’s enough of the lovefest everybody. Talk to you all later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always.
> 
> forgive the slight promotion, but my dear friend is publishing her work based on our on going RPG campaign.[ here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25558684/chapters/62021128), you can find a rouge one au based on the characters, some of which in later chapters are mine. if you dig that kinda thing, give it a look!
> 
> was it obvious i was having emo kid hours about the losers club? per usual, if there's events/characters/situtations/etc you would like to see a chapter on please feel free to let me know! thank you for the support this has gotten!


	21. gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers make fun of a tabloid article (and discuss starbucks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! sorta!

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
Truly a new experience to see a tabloid in the grocery store that says that you and your husband are getting a divorce. That’s one I didn’t see coming.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek Are we? Did you forget to tell me? Is this cause I said red bull was an acceptable thing to brew coffee with in a pinch?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier Did you forget to tell me is the better question? Cause I already have a lawyer, you’re the one who’s gonna need one.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek am i at least having an affair or something cool? I bet it’s that.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
@trashmouthtozier it didn’t say.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek can u get starbucks on ur way home

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier do you not have a cell phone with texting capabilities to discuss your errands?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@BeverlyMarshInc it’s more annoying this way.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier u mean u didn’t tell eddie about our passionate affair? :( are u ashamed of me?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom one: tmz’s gonna think that was true and be excited to break the news ben i swear to god two: ben i would be honored to be having an affair with you but u are still not really my type

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Also I literally can’t do any better than Eddie because there is no better than the best I don’t know why I would even bother to have an affair

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Losing my mind at all of this but Richie saying that he literally can’t do better than eddie bc eddie is the best is making me VERY soft.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@trashmouthtozier what’s ur starbucks order

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@taylormade as much caffeine as I am legally allowed! But since eddie’s picking it up it’s bound to be room temperature water and like, whole wheat toast without anything on it bc he wants me to be healthy

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Ben look what you did the tabloids are tweeting about our affair.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I’m laughing so hard they really are.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier what I did? You just said you’d be honored to be having an affair with me!

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom   
None of us would ever cheat on our spouses, especially with each other?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
Besides nobody else could put up with Richie. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@eddiek he amps up the annoyingness for you, you know that right?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc it’s his flirting technique.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek here to remind u again that we did in fact legally bind ourselves in holy matrimony so like...u must like it

**katy**  
@katykat  
The losers do not take us into account when they decide to tweet it is 10 in the morning my time and they’ve already made my day

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat you’re right lol

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@eddiek Mr. Kaspbrak I have to know, did you buy the tabloid?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@jennywilkes2 yeah i’m gonna frame it and hang it above his emmy. I think it’ll really tie the room together.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@eddiek what the fuck

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough I can buy you a copy too if you want? It’ll be there in a few days.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@eddiek Eddie! Stan and I saw that in the store the other day and Stan laughed about it for ten minutes straight because he thought it was so unbelievable that Richie would ever do something like that. 

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@eddiek he said that Richie’s too good for that, even though he thinks, quote, “Richie is an idiot but also my best friend and I’d never let him do that.”

**trashmouth stan™**  
@trashmanstan   
Yeah ig i can move up specifically being emo about stan and richie’s friendship a few hours today, i can rearrange my plans

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
You’re gonna make this magazine accidentally worth a shit ton of money.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@BeverlyMarshInc then Eddie can sell it and buy us all dinner or something. Win win.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
He didn’t bring me water, he brought me black coffee! Awww, he does love me.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier guess so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always! remember to comment if you have someone/something you think this stan twitter should comment on! i'm always looking for ideas!


	22. thread #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Famous novels as Richie Tozier Quotes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look my english degree is just sitting there so i might as well be obnoxious about it

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
If sparknotes wont do it i will- “Famous/Classic Novels as Richie Tozier Quotes.”  
(ofc inspired by Jenny’s iconic Richie Tozier Quotes as Musicals Thread.)  
A Thread:

Frankenstien: I hate when monsters try to make you face your inner fears and question morality and shit. Like shut the fuck up and let me hit you with this bat.

Pride and Prejudice: If you haven’t roasted the shit out of them before, is it real romance?

Twilight: Let me tell you he does not like it when I call him Edward but I’m like, babe it’s actually your name? 

Catcher in the Rye: Sometimes I remember being a teeneger and then I have to lie down for like an hour or so. 

Hamlet: Do NOT monologue at me about your issues. Keep them inside like the rest of us pal.

The Great Gatsby: Those are bold words coming from a man who just crashed his fucking car.

The Lightning Thief: I’m twelve! Aren’t there adults to deal with this? All I know how to do is make your mom jokes and yell. How the hell am I meant to do anything remotely serious!

1984: Just because I know all my dirty little secrets doesn’t mean you also get to know them. 

A Christmas Carol: You ever just do something and you’re like…that’s gonna haunt me for a while isn’t it. 

Romeo and Juliet: Jesus Christ the amount of pining that children do? Somebody should have talked to me about that. 

Oedipus Rex: Then Bill said, ‘I hate to be the one to tell you this man, but you married your mom.’

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: STOP binding yourself to others through blood! Just stop! Blood oaths don’t end well.

The Picture of Dorian Gray: Like yeah I’m gay but I also have questionable morals and blood on my hands so fucking try me. 

The Odyssey: Goddamn did it take me a long ass time to go home. 

Dracula: And I was like oh we’re going to make this a thing? It’s not a one time you threaten my life and haunt my nightmares situation? We have to do it again?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I can’t believe I got a mention in this stellar thread.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough …

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Another fantastic analysis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always! i know these are more filler chapters but i still wanted to get something up and once my brain realized eddie and edward cullen have the same name i couldn't rest until i did _something_ with that fact.


	23. phone call round two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers vague about an event on twitter and the stans get on the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i offer you this...tomorrow? who knows (actually if tomorrow goes as planned i offer u more 90s reddie but anyway)

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
You ever just get a phonecall and know that the strangely niche fanbase you and your childhood friends have built up on twitter would lose their minds if they knew what you knew?

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@trashmouthtozier this is so specific???

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier let’s not confuse this with the other awful phone call we got (from the same person) like two years ago. I think this one should replace that one in our memories.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom mm yes, good point. This was the better of the two phone calls. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@eddiek Did Richie cry?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc yeah but so did I so I can’t really make fun of him for it.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Ay yo stan twitter what’s the read on this?

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@katykat idk but it sounds like good news. And I would like to see it! 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
Who’s going to break and share the news first? Patty says it’s going to be Richie (she says she means it with love) but I think Bill’s going to break. Richie’s pretty good at keeping secrets. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris i love u thanks for believing in me

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
The Losers have another secret and Twitter is hard at work trying to figure out what it is.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Just woke up and all i can say is that the devil works hard but losers club stan twitter works harder.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
I think I would like to clarify that the phone call came to me (at seven in the morning) and not to Richie and I don’t know if that’s saying anything but I want to flex it. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek : 0

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier Richie what is that?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc it’s my offended face

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek u know it means he likes u more than me that’s what it is

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier yes Richie, I’m the lucky one who got you. 

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@trashmouthtozier @stanuris Stan, dear, that wasn’t very nice, I know Richie is your closest friend. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mrspattyuris patty you getting a twitter is the best thing to happen to me in a long time

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Its gotta be about bill and/or mike right, the news? I mean they’ve been quiet all morning. Mike’s usually one to comment

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
I’m intrigued of course but we’re just ignoring ben and richie’s little chat about some phone call they got that was apparently really bad twoish years ago?

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@jennywilkes2 i was just gonna add it to the pile of shit that doesn’t make any sense and definitely is somehow all connected and leave it there for a bit

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
I think it’s really funny that we all automatically assumed the news was about bill and mike because we all think the losers have no friends outside of each other.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmanstan it’s honestly not an unfair assumption

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
ASDSHJAKLSD SIR!

**katy**  
@katykat  
I have to go to class but if bill and mike are engaged somebody call me and i’ll pretend it’s a family emergency 

**64 days until deadlights!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
If bill and mike are getting married the worlds most eligible man just officially got taken off the market (i am ofc referring to mike)

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@unorignallosersstan absolutely no argument from me. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@unoriginallosersstan @billdenbruh me either.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Richie just venmoed me twenty dollars to be the one to tweet this so Stan wouldn’t technically win his bet with Patty and honestly I’ve been laughing about it for fifteen minutes now.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
But yes, Bill and I are engaged! We’re both incredibly happy and sappy about the whole thing. 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier you’re a fucking traitor

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Congrats again you two!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I’ll call @katykat dont worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always!


	24. intro to creative writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie vagues about news, bill gets his writing roasted, and Eddie is very romantic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my dearest ones! this week has been...full of a lot of stuff, and i know this is shorter, but i hope you enjoy!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I just found out some very exciting news but unfortunately i cannot share it with you

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@trashmouthtozier what news?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon if I tell you then i’ll have to share with everybody. But im gonna text the group in like an hour

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
The losers have a group chat? What is it called?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@taylormade it used to be called just “the losers” but no one has any self control so it’s always got a new name. Right now it’s called “Intro to Creative Writing Group Chat” because we spent the last week dragging bill’s newest chapter to hell

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
Bev’s right, it was pretty bad. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
But it was pretty bold coming from my own fiance. 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbrough it’s said with love

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
You guys would have been the worst peer group in college. Mike’s criticism was the only actual criticism, the rest of you just said shit you didn’t like and Ben made memes out of it

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenbrough just popping in to tell you that if we didn’t love you so much we wouldn’t be so mean.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@billdenbrough it's like when Eddie reads my new jokes with a completely neutral face and then repeats his least favorite back in the least funny tone. 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier @eddiek I want in on that next time.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
Richie is clearly leaving out the times where I tell him it’s award worthy and that I think he’s incredibly talented. It’s the self esteem issues I think.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@eddiek oh! Analyze me next! 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Absolutely stellar name thank you

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
We gonna get on trying to deduce richie’s news? Cause we have like no information to go on?

**mel**  
@bevmarshstanaccount  
@trashmanstan yeah there’s not much here and the last secret was an engagement so unless richie and eddie are re engaged?

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@bevmarshstanaccount plot twist eddie finally went through with his divorce threats, they got divorced, and now they’re engaged again.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@trashmanstan that’s fucking hysterical 

**katy**  
@katykat   
I’m losing my shit bill has several bestselling novels and his own fiance named their group chat after an intro class to roast his writing. 

**katy**  
@katykat   
I wouldn’t have expected it from mike, but i approve of it wholeheartedly

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@katykat he’s spending too much time around richie. That’s who I thought did it. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@BeverlyMarshInc can one ever spend too much time around me?

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@BeverlyMarshInc yes

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@BeverlyMarshInc I keep expecting that to be the case but I’ve found I’m only growing more and more attached to him and so that’s a no from me. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@eddiek BABE

**katy**  
@katykat  
aight imma go be Soft now.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Shit i forgot to think about what news richie is hiding lmao i got distracted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always! if you like check out my friends work [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AintNoPrincess/pseuds/AintNoPrincess), where she writes about our dnd campaign. 
> 
> wear a mask, remember to vote, take care of you and yours!


	25. live from new york

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie announces some exciting news, Twitter hypes him up and theorizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is like two days later than i wanted it to be but here we are! i promised it was good solid news and hopefully it sets us (you and i, collectively ig) for bigger and bolder plot lines.

**Saturday Night Live- SNL ✓**  
@nbcsnl  
Saturday. Richie Tozier. Live. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Thank God I wasn’t going to be able to keep that a secret anymore. And Eddie was enjoying pretending it was a divorce. 

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
we AGAIN STAY WINNING HUH

**katy**  
@katykat  
The sheer chaos of this. 

**bill denBRUH**  
@billdenbro  
Why did we never consider this as an option? It’s logical

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbro to be fair eddie and richie getting divorced and remarried did seem possible just because of who they are as people. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@katykat we thought so too

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I had to promise them that you all would tune in because I can’t bring anything else to the table except the like fifteen of you who have dedicated your twitter existence to us.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
That’s me being actually really thankful that you all are so supportive of us? There wasn’t stan twitter when we were kids if you liked someone you just joked about banging their mom.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier that was just you

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I think Richie has actual acting potential. Maybe just in like comedies etc but I really hope SNL goes well and everybody sees it cause if that man got an acting career? it’d be over for us.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@jennywilkes2 why stop there? He’s already got an emmy let’s get him all of them. EGOT energy only!

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I’m glad you all are bringing it up because I’ve been telling Richie to get into acting but he will not listen to me. I say Richie, I think you should try out for some movies. Lots of comedians do it! Give it a shot!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough i’m actually incredibly shy. The thought of being on the big screen fills me with a nervousness I cannot place. Tis too frightening. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier hey Richie!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc yes?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier beep beep.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
I vote that there’s a sketch about the losers club and richie plays literally anybody but himself

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh he plays eddie

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbruh he plays the fucking seriel killer 

**katy**  
@katykat  
The SNL writers reading these tweets and pretending they didn’t 

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Richie’s gonna do his monologue and say all the stuff he normally says and people who don’t know he’s Just Like That are going to be so confused and we’re going to be like “imagine how tired we are.” 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@jennywilkes2 if some random person who tunes in to watch on saturday picks up on something and fucking solves the entire derry shit i’m going to start screaming. 

****Mike Hanlon**  
** @mikeyhanlon  
@taylormade so am I. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always!


	26. it's saturday night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang live tweets snl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am Begging you to ask me about my favorite bill hader snl sketches. it's like, leave a comment, get a free rec from my terrible sense of humor. all of these tweets are about actual sketches, which i am happy to share with you! i'm always a slut for bill hader's snl sketches. 
> 
> (i am just Not Into The Effort of linking all like eight of them)
> 
> edit: y'all came through with the comments. check the comments for snl sketch recs!
> 
> enjoy!

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
If you had told me when we were kids that Richie would be hosting SNL one day I literally would have laughed at you.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Not that I wouldn’t have been supportive of him, it’s just that he was literally not funny as a kid, he was a little shit.

**Stan Uris**  
@stanleyuris  
@BeverlyMarshInc since Eddie’s not able to reply right now, allow me to agree with you for him.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Oof richie looks good in that shirt. He looks so good in like pastel colors. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Eddie’s face when Richie said “my darling husband” excuse me while i have a Moment for how cute that was. Eddie looks so flustered lowkey

**Out of Context Richie Tozier**  
@oocrichietozier  
“We were sewer rats and now I’m on SNL, someone’s eventually going to catch onto my scam.”

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@oocrichietozier i like how “sewer rat” could just mean they were how kids are, you know dirty and feral, but the amount of times richie talks about the sewers he really means sewer rat huh

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbruh well if you were a possibly human possibly not clown child serial killer wouldn’t you live in the sewers?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@taylormade you know that’s a really good point

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
Alright y’all let’s do this!

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Richie as a game show host? It’s more likely than you think.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Also that suit? 10/10

**katy**  
@katykat  
I dont even think richie’s acting i think he’s just Snarky. Imagine ur the clown and richie is just Mean to you and makes you feel bad

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Everyday I grow more and more convinced you all were somehow there in Derry

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@mikeyhanlon SIR PLEASE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
Not regular people commenting on Richie’s monologue trying to figure out what it was a metaphor for

**katy**  
@katykat  
@trashmanstan by regular people do you mean people who don’t spend their time stanning a bunch of childhood friends on twitter?

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@katykat yeah 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Remind me the next time I tell Richie he should get into acting to show him this specific sketch he doesn’t believe he can act! I will force him into the movies physically if I have to. I know all of us together could do it. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough he’s very large

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@BeverlyMarshInc there’s six of us. Patty’s on our side but Eddie’s probably on Richie’s. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Nice to see Richie’s impressions have gotten better since we were kids

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
We better have all showed up to watch tonight or else richie’s gonna be mad at us :(

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@taylormade i just had the image of stan hosting cross my mind and I am Losing It

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@hannahbanana BAHAHAHA THAT’D BE SO FUNNY

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Also unrelated but watching richie play an Agressively Heterosexual character is the funniest part of this episode

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Thanks guys for showing up, knew I could count on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know i appreciate you as always. i mean that sincerely. this fic began several months ago for my own enjoyment and the love and support it has gotten continues to astonish me. thank you!


	27. ikea architect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie try to build a bookshelf and Ben gets dragged over the coals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy labor day to those of you celebrating (and if there's international holidays i don't know about, i hope you enjoy those too)! remember to stay safe, and that there's still work to do but i hope you enjoy the day with your loved ones, and if you're celebrating alone, you can celebrate with me! 
> 
> enjoy!

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Eddie just texted me that he and Richie got a new bookshelf from IKEA so if they get a divorce, that’s the reason.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough truly a recipe for disaster.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough ben’s an ARCHITECT and it took us an hour longer than it was supposed to to put together that entertainment center we have in the living room.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom   
@BeverlyMarshInc they make them hard on purpose I know they do. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@benjaminhanscom I didn’t have nearly as much trouble.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon   
Divorce? This could be a murder. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Not to be That Way but the entertainment potential of watching richie and eddie put together ikea furniture is really *chefs kiss*

**tozier stan**  
@trashmanstan  
@taylormade richie and eddie start a vlog challenge

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@trashmanstan that would be fun! I think Richie would like that.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan   
@mrspattyuris ma’am! Thank you for gracing me with your acknowledgement. 

**katy**  
@katykat   
I’m sorry can we unpack Bev’s tweet lowkey roasting Ben’s inability to put IKEA furniture together? That’s hysterical. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
The man has won awards for architecture. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@katykat not for that ugly BBC building.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@BeverlyMarshInc Babe I-

**katy**  
@katykat  
ASDAKJSDAKL

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Oh yeah that building. It’s uh, a nice color.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@mikeyhanlon not you too Mike.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
That Godawful building. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenbrough Bill your endings suck you have no room to talk. 

**54 days until deadlights**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
The fact that ben’s tweet came literally one minute after bill’s he was literally waiting for it 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Oh we roasting Ben? Love that.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier how’s your bookshelf coming?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom touché

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
Richie better get off twitter and get to building 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I think we have to wonder if it’s possible to assemble furniture without arguing?

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@BeverlyMarshInc Patty and I built several pieces in the normal amount of time, very peacefully.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@stanuris yeah but you two are outliers and shouldn’t be counted. I don’t see how you could even think about arguing with Patty.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@BeverlyMarshInc Beverly! You’re too sweet! When are we going to get to see you and Ben again?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@mrspattyuris Ben has to be in Savannah at the end of the month. Maybe we can meet in the middle?

**hannah**  
@hanahbanana  
I am uhhhh so soft over that shit.

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
Please @twitter mrs. uris deserves a blue check

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@mrsmarsh if Patty gets verified before Eddie, Stan will literally never let Richie live it down. It will be brought up at every party, every dinner. He’ll call Richie just to remind him. It won’t even matter that Stan isn’t verified. It will be an endless source of entertainment for him. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
That actually might be pretty funny. @twitter this has potential. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
The bookshelves are up!

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@trashmouthtozier Richie it’s the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always! 
> 
> remember! wear a mask! register to vote (if you haven't already)! and take care of yourself!


	28. the wedding playlist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike tweets about wedding playlists, and Bev tells a story about Richie and Eddie's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this thought has been haunting me for like two weeks tbh

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Bill and I are doing wedding planning and I am reminded of why Eddie is not allowed to be in charge of the music for anything. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@mikeyhanlon STOP IS THIS ABOUT HIS AND RICHIE’S WEDDING RECEPTION?

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@BeverlyMarshInc ma’am? Please inform? 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Ok, so lots of questions but Eddie decided to be a little shit and play the iconic song I just died in your arms tonight at their wedding reception.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Which objectively it's kind of a weird choice but there’s nothing inherently wrong with it.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
What Bev is fucking failing to mention is that for all intents and purposes eddie did in fact DIE IN MY ARMS?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
And like yes objectively that is really funny and if I had heard someone tell me the story or watched it in a movie I would have laughed but it’s not so funny when IT HAPPENED TO YOU

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier I was getting to that! Richie got back from the bathroom and I could see him trying to guess the song from the first few notes. His face was so funny.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
That was the funniest thing I have ever seen you looked so betrayed. Stan was in on it.

**Richie Tozie ✓r**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris ???

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris   
@trashmouthtozier I plead the fifth. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Despite only truly understanding some of that, that’s so funny. I didn’t think eddie had it in him. He seems pretty serious about stuff. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
You all...he is a monster. He’s such a fucking little shit. I can’t believe he’s tricked all of you. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
He’s trying to steal my phone to silence me but he’s a short little man and so he can’t. 

**Richie Tozier✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Turning off the wifi won’t help Eds my dear. I’m going to tell you all. Ask your questions. I will not be silenced. 

**taylor**  
@tayloremade  
@trashmouthtozier im begging u to elaborate on the dying thing

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@taylormade a fair and understandable question. When we fought the clown eddie got very hurt, made a fucking your mom joke and literally i thought he was dead. Like in my arms. If any of that is unclear let me know.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Let’s just hope the deadlights have the answers we want. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@bildenbrough  
@billdenbruh we can hope

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
I-

**katy**  
@katykat  
Sorry i failed my duty but BILL AND MIKE WEDDING PLANNING! WEDDING HAPPENING SOON! IS THERE A DATE? I NEED TO TAKE THE DAY OFF?

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@katykat no set date yet. Bill’s not allowed to help until the book is ready to go. He’s using it to get out of editing so I’m refusing to set a date. But we’ll let you know so you can put in your time off request. 

**hannah**  
@hanahbanana   
@katykat how does it feel to have been acknowledged by the best losers club member

**katy**  
@katykat  
@hannahbanana i’m going to print it out and hang it above my desk as a reminder of why i do what i do

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@katykat you’ve really achieved it now congrats

**katy**  
@katykat  
@mrsmarsh thank you thank you. I’d love to thank the academy for this honor.

**Jenny Wilkes**   
@jennywilkes2  
I know I’m a little late to the party but shall I just add this to the shit we don’t understand pile? 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon let me make your playlist. I was a DJ in another life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always!


	29. thread #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie pulls an all nighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watching people pull chaotic all nighters on youtube is one of my favorite things to do, and so why not make the most chaotic man do just that.
> 
> (brief tw: brief mentions of drug use in this chapter! it's short and non descriptive, but if you are particularly sensitive to any mention please be mindful! you will not miss anything if you skip this chapter! <3)

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
My husband is in Chicago for a Boring People convention, I have had two redbulls, and I’m going to have a party: A Thread

Once, like fifteen years ago I did several lines of coke in a fancy New York City hotel room and blacked out for the next few hours. It’s kinda like that but a) I don’t think two redbulls will make me black out 

And b) it’s not nearly as strong, I just don’t have a better comparison 

It you’re anybody with Eddie’s number right now and you’re seeing these… no you aren’t.

It sucks nothing good is on this late but I HATE sleeping alone and I have decided to make this everyone else’s problems. 

Lots of questions (if you guys should be asleep go to sleep) but no I do not remember anything about the coke night, but I have been told that I spoke at length about my parents and ate a lot of food. 

Yes, I know which hotel it is, no I will not tell you. Eddie likes New York I don’t want to get banned from a hotel.

Do not do coke kids, it’s very bad for you. I have not done it in a long time. I mean that in an uncharacteristically serious way. Do not do drugs. I wasn't doing so hot at the time and I don’t want anything bad to happen to any of you. If you need help, please reach out to the people who love you.  


But I digress.

(Yes, I’m just like this, not even on cocaine. I just am like this naturally.)

I sorta feel like an unchaperoned regency woman? Only I have the internet to yell at and not just my parents who pray everyday I will make a suitable match.

“Oh, when will our dear Richard attract the eyes of a suitable partner? We wish nothing more than to find someone who will keep him in comfort, of the proper standing.”

I don’t know how regency people talked but one time I got drunk and cried over pride and predjudice, so pretend I do.

@benjaminhanscom is up because he is in China right now and he just called me threatening to tell Eddie if I don’t go to sleep, like Eddie’s not going to see this when he wakes up anyway.

But we talked for like twenty minutes, I didn’t fall asleep.

Eddie wakes up at 6:30 every weekday. I know this because he has a very loud alarm. 

I go back to sleep but every morning I lay there and I remember that we are legally married and I literally sort of made a vow to just Put Up With It.

Eddie says I should get up early to and be productive, but I would literally rather go back to Derry for a third time than wake up that early. Well, maybe not Derry but you understand my point.

Eddie did leave me a very long to do list for my own benefit, because I can’t do anything without a written list, so I think I’m going to clean the garage?

Did you guys know I named my car? Eddie doesn’t like it, and his car remains unnamed, but my car is named Barry. 

Y’all don’t worry, we don’t have close neighbors, I’m not keeping anybody up and there is a literal, actual party going on down the street.

The real party tho, is in my garage as I clean empty coffee cups, receipts, a pair of shoes (@BeverlyMarshInc, if you were looking for your brown heels, I found them) another copy of Attic Room, and a paper in my handwriting that just says “microwaveable toast” from my car.

Somebody shut down the party! Ha! Should have come to my party!

Uh oh

Eddie’s up!

Good news folks, he did not yell at me and we are not divorcing, but he used several examples of horrible things that have happened to people who don’t get enough sleep, told me if I didn’t get some sleep before he got home, that’s when he would divorce me, and then very softly added that he loves me and he is excited to see me tomorrow when he gets home.

Goodnight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, what was i gonna do? _not_ name richie's car barry?
> 
> anyway i have been incredibly wrapped up in writing a succession fic but now that i've finished writing it i hope i can bounce back to this with more vigor (no promises lol) hope you enjoyed!


	30. early reviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The earliest reviews for The Deadlights trickle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh guess i lied when i said updates would be more frequent lol sorry about that! the timing of when these take place is a little iffy so just pretend it all adds up lol

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
The fact that there are people with advance copies of deadlights and i am not one of them? It’s a crime.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh WHO HAS COPIES? NAME NAMES!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat some early copies went out. Very early reviews are starting to pop up. I get google notifications for it…

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbruh that’s the kinda energy i’m trying to have 

**katy**  
@katykat  
So like...if there’s early copies… does that mean bill and mike set a date? 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat ASKLJASDAL

**Kirkus Reviews ✓**  
@KirkusReviews  
Seven children meet an unspeakable evil in their quaint hometown. Almost thirty years later, it comes back with a vengeance. @billdenbrough writes his most personal novel yet. The Deadlights, out 6/1

**34 days until deadlights**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
I’m going to have a conniption 

**katy**  
@katykat  
It’s funny because there’s all these professionals gushing over the symbolism in deadlights and we look like we’ve all put on our tinfoil hats to be like “no there was a sewer clown it’s an autobiography.”

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Ha! Smart people said that Ethan is a well rounded character.

**Bev Marsh ✓  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier yeah but you’re a dumbass**

****

****

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenbrough can I get an early copy?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@benjaminhanscom most likely yes.

**katy**  
@katykat  
I bet Mike’s read it already. @mikeyhanlon is it good?

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@katykat I’m biased but yes.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@katykat another acknowledgement by the greatest! How you feeling?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@jennywilkes2 losing it thanks for asking.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
I know I haven’t read deadlights yet but reading all the reviews I just know I’m going to love it.

**Buzzfeed Books ✓**  
@BuzzfeedBooks  
We sat down with horror icon Bill Denbrough (@billdenbrough) to discuss The Deadlights, The Losers, life in Florida, and everything in between.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough dude what the fuck how are you so put together in this interview? I can’t talk about it without making jokes?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier you can’t talk about anything without making jokes..

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek and you know what? Got an emmy for it.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@eddiek you set yourself up for that one Eddie.

**katy**  
@katykat  
EXCUSE ME???? PHOTOS OF KID LOSERS FROM BUZZFEED!!! UNSEEN UNTIL NOW PHOTOS??? 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbrough  
Richie has literally the same glasses I-

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Not to be dramatic but I would die for each and every one of those kids. If I had been there the clown would have caught these hands.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@jennywilkes2 the noise i just made at ur tweet 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbrough  
Wait a damn minute, was anybody gonna mention the fact that deadlights is over a thousand pages long? That’s a brick.

**katy  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh EXCELLENT! MORE LOSERS CONTENT (however indirect lmao)**

****

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbrough  
Again, the fact that there are early copies of deadlights and i don’t have one? Should be illegal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! i appreciate you as always!


	31. lake house trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers take a vacation, and Bev exposes most of their nonsense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me getting emotional about the losers club friendship again

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I can’t believe people think these men are so well put together and well spoken and talented, when I just watched Richie chuck a pillow across the room, hitting squarely Stan in the face just because Stan wouldn’t bring him a bottle of water.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
There’s so many awards, and bestsellers, and talent, and movies, and shows, and success among these six idiots (you too Stan) and yet-

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
Bev once again proving she holds the group braincell. Well probably with Patty. Patty has her own maybe though.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@mrsmarsh I think Stan has one of his own but wherever they all get together he gives it to Patty for safe keeping.

**POPSUGAR ✓**  
@POPSUGAR  
10 photos from the Losers Club lake house vacation.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
The way i started crying when i saw that photo of richie with sunscreen on his nose like a little kid.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@taylormade five bucks says eddie had to make him put sunscreen on through physical force

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Also wtf ben always looks like a cowboy but why don’t we talk about how hot he is?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
In addition, Ben and Mike have been playing Monopoly for three days with no end in sight, because Eddie went bankrupt an hour in, and Patty split her funds up evenly among them when she quit playing.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I think that Mike it’s the favored winner, but Ben has more monopolies. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I would like to formally state that this place was nice but it really felt like the beginning of a horror movie, but Mike says we’ve probably used up our horror movie quota, so we’re in the clear.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Haven’t made fun of Bill yet, so I’ll let you know that we had a movie night, and he fell asleep like, ten minutes after the opening credits. After stating several times that he wasn’t tired. Eddie wouldn’t let us wake him up, because he insisted that sleep was more important.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@BeverlyMarshInc this makes Eddie look very caring and while this is mostly true, I need to clear up that on the very same night, he got tired of Richie sleeping on him, and foisted him upon me without warning. He’s so tall.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom we’re the same height?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier but you were literally dead weight 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
Richie wasn’t even asleep, he was just pretending. He likes to pretend to fall asleep so he can stop me from getting up. My arm was just falling asleep. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@eddiek and what of my arm?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Boys, there’s no need to fight over me.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Several of the beautiful birds Stan and I have seen on our early morning walks the past week!  
The Pine Warbler is a personal favorite of mine, and it was the first time I’d seen one in person!

**katy**  
@katykat  
WHAT THE HELL THIS IS SO SOFT MRS URIS PLEASE 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Also imagining patty seeing all the nonsense between richie eddie and ben and being like hmm, let me share the bird photos now so they have some time to pull themselves together. I love her for that.

**jules**  
@julesc  
The way that Bev manages to be fashionable, like, all the time. Ugh, her power. That like, navy short white shirt outfit she has on? In love.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@julesc it’s contrasted by Richie’s ability to look like a middle schooler at all times. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc are you still mad about the red carpet?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier Actually, I was just stating the truth, but now that you mention it…

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
The good news is that Mike’s horror movie theory did prove to be right, and no one was murdered/kidnapped/abducted/etc. Guess we really have used up our horror movie experiences for one lifetime.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough yeah thank God for that. Derry was good for something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> appreciate you as always!


	32. dammit, janet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie adopt a dog, the Losers compete for the worst time in Derry award, and Twitter just hopes the Deadlights will be less confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of time it took me to name this dog i-
> 
> anyway the losers love each other so much it makes me emotional

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
The Internet’s Dads, Richie and Eddie just adopted a dog and I need to lie down for a little while. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
It is Janet’s world and we are just living in it.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
JANET! I LOVE HER!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Yes, the rumors are true. Eddie and I are parents. Janet is a two year old Pomeranian mix we adopted last week, she has the most human ass name, and has taken over Eddie’s job as boss of the house.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@trashmouthtozier will Janet be available to be in our wedding?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon I will check her availability, but she should be free.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
The way I would die for Janet. 

**Out Of Context Richie Tozier**  
@oocrichietozier  
@trashmouthtozier Mr. Tozier, you now live with two Rocky Horror Picture Show characters in your home, how does it feel?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@oocrichietozier Feels pretty good I guess? Reminds me that physically I may be Brad Majors, but in spirit I am Columbia. Does that make sense?  


**Out Of Context Richie Tozier**  
@oocrichietozier  
@trashmouthtozier it absolutely does thank you

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Oh! We can share pictures of Janet now? I have several Richie sent me. Just a second.

**katy**  
@katykat  
The way I feel like this is the losers, like, kid or something. It hits.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Richie got over his fears real quick when Janet kissed his hand at the shelter.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@benjaminhanscom is richie afraid of dogs?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjamainhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier u wanna do this one?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
No, I am not afraid of dogs technically. But the fucking clown had a fucking little pomeranian behind one of his fucking doors and Eds and me thought it was a monster. It was but it wasn’t a dog so it’s fine I’m not scared of them.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Lots of words there. They all mean things. Just not in this order. I know there’s information there, it's just literally incomprehensible. 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier yeah but that one was kind of on us I think. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier oh no me and Eddie got the scary doors that were probably a metaphor for something else. I was almost buried alive, you moron. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom I am going to win this argument. Are you sure you want to have it? Also I refuse to believe the clown was using metaphors for my repressed sexuality Benjamin.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
Richie sounded like Stan so much in that last tweet lmao 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier leave Ben alone dickhead. I’m not even dead.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier yeah leave Ben alone dickhead.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Two against one. Good thing Janet is on my side.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Are you guys arguing over who had the worst shit happen to them in Derry?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Because like, objectively it was Eddie. I think being impaled is the worst.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
Finally someone speaks the truth. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
I’m claiming second place. You guys know why.

**katy**  
@katykat  
What is happening? Why am I laughing so hard.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Sorry it took me so long! I forgot Richie emailed me all the photos, but here are the ones I have of Janet. I like the one of her with the little rain boots on the most.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
THANK YOU FOR FOR THE PRESENT MRS URIS

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Not to derail from the gift that is Janet Kaspbrak-Tozier, but what the fuck are they talking about. @billdenbruh thoughts?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Head full. Full of thoughts. None of them coherent. I’ll figure it out after Deadlights. Maybe. @unoriginallosersstan, how many days?

**23 DAYS TILL DEADLIGHTS!!**  
@unoriginalloserstsan  
@billdenbruh You rang?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Eddie said I have to be nice to Ben, but since he just called me laughing his ass off, I promise you he’s not mad. We’re all over being mad at each other I promise.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier you make a good point. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier the clown might not have but I did.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough this is payback isn’t it. It feels like payback.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier for you being an annoying as shit kid and a slightly less annoying adult? Yes. But it’s done with love. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Gee Big Bill said he loved me! Gonna go write this in my diary. Suck on that everybody.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier too late to take it back?

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbrough way too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you as always! 
> 
> lmao imagine how weird it would be in real life if some friends were Like This on twitter?


	33. meme dump #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Losers Club Memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who learned how to put images in????

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
i asked and you delivered. here are our best losers club memes from every corner of stan twitter

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9etv)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9agd)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9akw)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9arz)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9ax2)  


[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9b1n)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9b5f)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9bac)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9bkj)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9bok)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9bsw)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9bxi)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9c0g)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9c4a)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9c80)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9cdf)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9ch9)  


[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9co1)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9cv2)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4i9d1t)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
and that's a wrap! round two opening soon, so get those memes ready!

 **Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Great Stan's gonna call me a fucking donkey from now on. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouttozier you all are hilarious by the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully once deadlights is out there will be more meme content, i say, like it's a real book coming out


	34. t minus ten days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Losers Stan Twitter has a little breakdown over Deadlights, Richie continues to get roasted, and Twitter remains confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all were _so_ receptive to the meme chapter! i'm so glad!

**10 DAYS TILL DEADLIGHTS!!!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
Just found out my mom also preordered deadlights lmao

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@unoriginallosersstan your updates get me up in the morning. You are doing the lord’s work

**10 DAYS TILL DEADLIGHTS!!!**  
@uniriginallosersstan  
@billdenbruh it’s my calling. 

**jules**  
@julesc  
Is anybody (on Losers Stan Twitter specifically) going to Bill’s book signing in any of the locations? It hasn’t sold out in my town (mostly cause it’s not till like a month after) and I’m wondering if I should go?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@julesc I bought a ticket! Mine is the night before release so I think we’re getting our copy then? That’s where I ordered from anyway.

**taylor**  
@taylormade   
@katykat u gonna ask about the wedding date?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade ASDLAKSKJL TAYLOR

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana   
But the early reviews of deadlights are so funny? The “wow what a great metaphor for childhood and fea and the way kids process the bad things that happen to them” we look like fox mulder with our sewer clown hypothesis. 

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
That being said i’m not disagreeing. The clown shit happened, it’s just funny

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@hannahbanana the one review that was like “Children cope with trauma in so many ways, and Bill’s new book highlights that through a terrifying metaphor.” Like yeah. But also. Clown!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough hope you didn’t make me look bad in your book!

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
He probably made you look better. 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@BeverlyMarshInc No, he didn’t.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@mikeyhanlon I-

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom   
@trashmouthtozier the real question is who looks like the bigger lovestruck idiot?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@benjaminhanscom u man.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier No Richie.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier yeah, no Richie.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
I’ll give you this. @benjaminhanscom was just open about it and sweet, all poetic and such. @trashmouthtozier took the “he’s being mean to you because he likes you” way too literally.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc I’d like to remind you once again that it clearly worked. I have a wedding band. I still have a photo saved of our marriage license from the last time I reminded you.

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier STOP REMINDING ME!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Daily prayer sesh that the deadlights lets us have some sense of what is happening most of the time.

**jules**  
@julesc   
Yeah, I bought a ticket to the signing. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@julesc yay! DM me after Monday if you want I can give you an overview of what happened!

**jules**  
@julesc  
@katykat thank u!!! 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Did someone change Bill’s twitter password? I feel like we haven’t heard from him in a bit.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbruh Yeah we don’t get any wedding planning done because he just looks at all the tweets under the deadlights hashtag, so I changed it.

**katy**  
@katykat  
I’ve been summoned.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
@katykat your absolute unwavering stan behavior for hanbrough also gets me up in the morning. That’s the kind of loyalty we need more of in today’s society.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh yeah i have twitter notifications turned on for all the losers, but only mike get’s my undivided attention regardless of where i am.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@katykat yeah a call from Mike had our undivided attention regardless of where we were as well.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
I! Don’t! Know! What! That! Means!

**10 DAYS TILL DEADLIGHTS!!!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@trashmanstan hopefully ten days till you have some kinda answers lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always! watching it this weekend and am excited to be Sad


	35. bill denbrough discovers the concept of time passing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janet becomes a fashion icon, there's a lot of love going on, and Bill realizes his book comes out in just a few days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who watched it yesterday lmao

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
THE PICTURES OF JANET ON RICHIE’S INSTA. THE BOW. THE BOOTIES! I'M OVER! 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Not to distract from the fact that we’re all losing our shit over deadlights coming out but JANET

**katy**  
@katykat  
She’s literally the cutest dog I-

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@taylormade the implication in the caption that Bev now designs for dogs sent me into the stratosphere. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@mrsmarsh @taylormade i get the vibe that she’s like, the group’s child. Like a communal kid. Richie did call bev janet’s aunt.

**katy**  
@katykat  
But! We can’t let this distract us from all the clown shit! Constant vigilance lmao

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat you mean bill’s latest interview where he said deadlights should be in the nonfiction section and the interviewer laughed like he was kidding?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh I do mean that! 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbruh the good news is there’s only a couple of days till we get some answers.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@julesc you mean until we read the great metaphor about how kids deal with shit and the horrors of childhood…..i’m kidding imagine if i had a normal view about this book? 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade had us in the first half, i’m not gonna lie.

**Barnes and Noble ✓**  
@BarnesandNoble  
This Tuesday, Bill Denbrough’s The Deadlights hits shelves. You can’t escape home forever. Click the link below for more.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@BarnesandNoble shit already? when did that happen?

**katy**  
@katykat  
bill i-

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Time flies I guess, but ask your Deadlights questions, and I’ll answer a few while I’m online!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbrough about what percent of the book would you say is true to life

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@taylormade 85-90%. Some stuff was better to leave out, and I’d never write stuff someone felt they didn’t want shared, and I had to make Richie look reasonable, and the rest of us (save for Mike and Stan sometimes) look competent.

**katy**  
@katykat  
BILL I-

**Stanly Uris**  
@stanuris  
@billdenbrough I honestly want to argue but I can’t actually blame you for that statement.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@stanuris love you

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@billdenbrough I love you too.

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbrough what was your favorite part of writing this one?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@julesc A) getting to talk to the other Losers about this stuff B) Mike reading it as I wrote it and C) writing it knowing it’s all over and we can breathe again.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
I want to make a conspiritoral comment about that but that makes me...sort of emo.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozer  
@billdenbrough Stop putting it into good words! You make me look bad!

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier don’t need any help with that idiot

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek aw shucks! 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbrough who was your favorite character to write?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@mikeyhanlon I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t partial to Franky.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Looks like we guessed Frank right as Mike for sure.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat how u handling this?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh losing my mind thanks for asking :)

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenrboughquotes  
@billdenbrough was it harder or easier to write a book more based on personal experience?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes easier in that I didn’t have to come up with so much on my own, harder in that I have to look back and realize everything that happened to us.

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenrbough were you finally able to write a good ending?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@benhaminhanscom I’ll kill you off. I’ll do it. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@billdenbrough No you won’t.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
No I won’t.  


**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenbrough ah thanks Big Bill

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough sure, anytime Haystack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe i've been talking about the deadlights for so long and it's like...a chapter or two away


	36. the night before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadlights comes out in the morning, and people are worked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i had the time and ability i would rewrite all of it for each and every one of you, taking the best parts of all versions, but we shall all have to content ourselves with our favorite semi co dependent adult losers and their niche (cult) following on twitter reviewing it starting next chapter

**bill debBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Caved and got the ebook to read deadlights at midnight so i dont have to wait till my copy comes tomorrow 

**TOMORROW!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@billdenbruh the way ur mind works 

**TOMORROW!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@katykat are you at the event? 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@unoriginallosersstan yes! It hasn’t started yet but mike is like….ten feet away from me and i’m having a small breakdown about it 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat omg have fun! 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Can’t wait for everybody to read Deadlights and get even more confused. 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier I’m not sure they’ll get more confused, I just think it won’t be much clearer. 

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@BeverlyMarshInc ma’am what does this mean 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Y’all it looks like a BRICK it’s so hefty i cannot, it’s a weapon 

****

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat use deadlights to fight off the clown 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@taylormade ASAKLSJD STOP 

**Richie Tozier ✓** @trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek u should have chucked a book at the fucking spider. Hey eater of worlds eat this! 

**bill denBRO** @billdenbruh  
Ay yo losers twitter did we know about the spider? Do we know what that mean? 

**tozier stan™** @trashmanstan  
@billdenbruh *checks notes* no this is new 

**Eddie Kaspbrak** @eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier I can’t stand you. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek babe my head is in your lap right now 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I’m really going to have a breakdown 

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
If we're being technical it wasn't a spider, but more of an alien situation. 

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
Right right of course 

**TOMORROW!**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@katykat on a scale of one to ten how much like dads to bill and mike look? 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@unoriginallosersstan 11. They are my parents. 

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
Not my mom asking if I knew Bill had a book coming out tomorrow like I don’t actively run a stan account on twitter. 

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenrboughquotes  
She says she wants to read it too lmao so she’s gonna go get a copy tomorrow 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes you have to tell us what she thinks of the clown, if she thinks it s symbol or whatever 

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
@julesc i’m gonna ask for like a full book report 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Bill once again saying how the deadlights is ripped straight from his own life but also how some stuff is going to happen we’re not expecting 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat watch him kill someone off lmao 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@taylormade he made good on his promise and killed off ben 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@billdenbruh there’s another losers club member they just never mention 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@taylormade it’s just whoever was annoying him the most when he was writing that chapter 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbruh so richie 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@julesc close! 

**jules**  
@julesc  
Excuse me now I have to go and scream 

**katy**  
@katykat  
HE MENTIONED US ON STAN TWITTER LMAO YALL I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PASS OUT 

**Four hours and counting!** @unoriginallosersstan  
It’s the final countdown! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love y'all thank u


	37. deadlights (i)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadlights release day and early chapter reactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watching it as i write this. truly a circle
> 
> sorry for the sporadic updates! I've been job hunting and finally landed a part time job hopefully with a schedule i'll be able to be a little more consistent with writing!

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Deadlights is out in the world. I’ll be vanishing for a bit. Got a wedding to plan! Enjoy.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough “enjoy” is an interesting choice given the plot but uh yeah Bill! 

**katy**  
@katykat  
I fell asleep like around one but JESUS CHRIST! DEADLIGHTS IS HERE!

**katy**  
@katykat  
I’m already a little emotional about the whole thing. Did we know about Bill’s brother?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
@katykat I didn’t know and let me tell you I was not ready for that at eight o’clock in the morning

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Idk how far you guys are in the book but I stayed up to read a hefty chunk bc sleep is for the week but if richie was like this as a kid…. Did he think he was hiding his crush? Did like, every body know but Eddie? 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Also jfc these poor kids in this town it’s lucky they all found each other 

**jules**  
@julesc  
Ok i’m going to get my copy rn and they are so Large! So large!

**Spoiler Free Deadlights Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
TELL ME HOW MY DAD RANDOMLY PICKED UP DEADLIGHTS LAST NIGHT AND HE’S LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH IT?

**Spoiler Free Deadlights Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
“I think this Ethan boy might have a thing for his little friend Danny.”  
“Dad, they’re married in real life.”  
“Looks like I was right.”

**Spoiler Free Deadlights Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
Wait till I tell him about the others lmao

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Somebody who knows somebody who isn’t remotely involved in stan twitter that’s reading the deadlights PLEASE give me their opinions

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh my cousin says that she thinks “the clown is such a deep metaphor for childhood trauma. Bill’s really talented.”

**katy**  
@katykat  
@billdenbruh I’m way too embarrassed to tell her that I think it was a real clown. She’s like a quarter of the way through.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
Ok i’ve finally got my hands on my copy. Tell me how i fully expected (SPOILER?) George's brother to like, be around, only to watch him die in like the first chapter.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
I’m a slow reader so I’m not too far into the book but like, we’re under the agreement that this is at least vaguely what really happened right? So I would simply have to argue that despite being literal agents of chaos that the losers club are are...fairly well adjusted?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@trashmanstan  
That’s actually a really good point?

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@trashmanstan like yes I think the losers are all batshit crazy but that’s a point i never really considered. Especially since like this can only get worse? I would simply never sleep again.

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
This isn’t really a quote but despite not realizing it himself, it’s so obvious that each of the losers made sure Bill knew that the reason they all acted the way they did was because they were in love with him.

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
The Losers: We want to have a good summer and hang out and have fun  
Bill/George: We will be looking for my little brother in the sewers and fighting a clown  
The Losers: I don’t know...that doesn’t sound like a lot of fun..  
Bill/George: *literally does nothing*  
The Losers: Guess you talked us into it.

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
Like it’s big dumbass energy to take literally until your adult life to realize your friends were in love with you when they had no problem following you on your revenge quest-- apparently twice? I haven’t finished the book but twice right? 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Rip to the losers club but i would simply not. I am built different.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Who am i kidding yes i would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always!


	38. deadlights (ii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deadlights extravaganza continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise you don't even have to wait v long for part two!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Of course it’s dumb to assume anything the losers say isn’t what happened but I really thought richie’s one liner about blood oaths was just a joke. They...they literally made a blood oath.

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh   
@billdenbruh it’s why they bounce their brain cells around, and why patty gets her own 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@mrsmarsh why does that make perfect sense though

**katy**  
@katykat   
It took several, several long days of doing nothing but staring at my book but I HAVE FINISHED. I will include spoiler warnings for all my upcoming tweets with spoilers don't worry.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@katykat I have like… 60ish pages left and I am going to pass out i swear to god i am.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Like, super minor spoiler but mr hanscom, sir, the lemons. Was that a joke? 

**katy** katy   
@katykat  
My completely non spoiler thoughts are just incoherent screaming. Absolutely unhinged feral screaming. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
SPOILERS but I’m genuinely amazed not only by bill’s talent but by his ability to convey a story we have a vague idea about and make it genuinely terrifying. The clown was horrific, and the way it taunted each of the kids by themselves with specific shit was so evil on it’s part.

**katy**  
@katykat  
SPOILERS the love that the losers have for each other even after forgetting for as long as they did was insane, and honestly each of them had so much bad shit in their lives and the fact that they’re as functioning as they are.. Idk it just gives me hope or something.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
@katykat that’s a good point. It’s weirdly inspiring. 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough thanks for making my dumbass husband seem cool in print. He won’t shut up about it now. 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@eddiek it was pretty difficult. Did you finish it? 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@billdenbrough I did. Richie’s too scared to read the end in case you killed me off for real, according to him. I’m not sure what that means. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek It’s a valid concern. All things considered. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom does your inner child get as warm and fuzzy as mine does at being called husband by your childhood crush?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier yeah big time. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
*smacks table* YALL STOP BEING SOFT IM TRYING TO READ

**Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes (spoilers ahead!)**  
@incorrectbilldenbroughquotes  
Ethan: It’s like when Frank dared me to look at the deadlights  
Frank: No, I said Ethan *don’t* look at the deadlights and you said Franky, don’t tell me what to do and looked at the deadlights and almost died.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Is it too early to start casting the deadlights movie and is it too early to campaign that richie be in it.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@jennywilkes2 No it’s not too early on both counts.

**Spoiler Free Deadlights Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
Cackling at the reviews calling Ethan and Daniel very good friends. 

**Spoiler Free Deadlights Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan   
As we’ve assessed, Ethan says, several times, to multiple people, that he’s like, madly in love with Daniel. Like its On The Page!

**katy**  
@katykat  
@unoriginallosersstan my mom said they sound like good friends :) 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbrough how did you pick out new names?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
I tried to ask everybody what names they wanted to be, but I kept getting stupid answers from everybody and so I put a bunch of names in a hat and literally picked on by one. 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbrough absolutely fantastic. Can I ask some of the rejected names?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@julesc Jimothy, Darth Vader, Nero, Spaghetti, and every single name that rhymes with Derry. I love them but my friends are a bunch of idiots.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
Stan was the only one who got the name he sent me because he and Patty picked out each other’s names and they were both perfectly acceptable.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
I know they were just doing it to be annoying (Richie) and to try and make me laugh (Bev) but I don’t know how we ever managed to defeat It with nonsense like this.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough through the power of love and friendship Bill what part was unclear to you?

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
Thank God I missed that part. 

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris   
@eddiek Me too

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek @stanuris DONT TEAM UP ON ME YOU TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part three up tomorrow barring anything unforeseen (it's halloween after all)


	39. deadlights (iii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deadlights extravaganza conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently crying over chapter one and how much the losers love each other. gonna watch chapter two tomorrow lmao

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
Not me out here thinking Eddie was really going to die like I don’t follow him on Twitter and see him tweet all the time and know full well that he is alive.

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@trashmanstan me about stan

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
@trashmanstan it’s bill’s writing talent

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh not taking questions but stan really out here being brave as hell we need to recognize this more! What the hell!

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris hear that! The people have spoken! You’re being recognized!

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier Thank you, but you’re literally down the hall, why don’t you just tell me this?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris Staniel the people have spoken!

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris I just had to pick you as my best friend when we were kids didn’t I? Couldn’t have picked someone nice and calm. 

**Richier Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@stanuris Yeah but you love me.

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@trashmouthtozier yes. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade   
SIRS PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT

**katy**  
@katykat  
Good now people are finished can we talk about how Bill managed a pretty ok ending? I mean normally eh giant alien spider is kind of lame after like, a thousand pages but uhhh it’s not like Bill had a choice.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@katykat objectively bill’s best ending. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I know we joke about richie calling the clown a sloppy bitch all the time and it is, of course, very funny but why do i lowkey think he was ballsy as hell for that because that monster was HORRIFYING and the man said… Yes. This is a sloppy bitch and I am going to let it know.

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade easy to understand why eddie is the Way That He Is because if my spouse was like That, that’s how I would be too.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Can we also talk about how depressing them all forgetting is?

**jules**  
@julesc  
@katykat not to be dramatic but I sobbed my way through that bit. Like I just know how much they all love each other! 

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana   
I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT EDDIE FUCKING GIVING UP THE GHOST (sorta, technically, for a little bit, whatever) LIKE ABOUT TO TELL RICHIE I LOVE YOU, MAKING A SHITTY JOKE AND THEN YEETING OUT OF CONCIOUSNESS.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@hannahbanana I’d also like to talk about that, thanks for bringing it up. @billdenbrough care to explain?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@trashmouthtozier You are not pinning this on me. Talk to your husband.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough I think I’ll blame you anyway. It’s a little problematic Bill. You’re gonna get canceled. Bury your gays and all that… 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@trashmouthtozier Hey Richie?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@billdenbrough Yes?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@trashmouthtozier Beep Beep.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek   
@trashmouthtozier I love you dumbass. Happy?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek I guess. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@RichieTozier   
Oop I just heard his office door open guess he’s coming downstairs now. bye!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Do you think the Losers Club will ever eat Chinese food again?

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@billdenbruh No.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2   
Loved deadlights with my whole heart, also loved Ben’s dumbass BBC building making a cameo

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes2  
Like being on stan twitter I feel like I got the inside scoop to some of the references etc so thanks y’all for that.

**Jenny Wilkes**  
@jennywilkes   
I’m begging you guys to scroll through goodreads reviews. They love bill’s use of metaphors and his ability to capture childhood fears. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@jennywilkes2 my favorites are the ones that are like gee this is so scary it felt almost real. LIKE IMAGINE HOW WE FEEL? I was like too scared to take a long shower when I finished reading.

**jules**  
@julesc  
@jennywilkes2 @katykat the ones that are like wow how did bill come up with all this it’s so sick and twisted like what happened when he was a kid. Like this! This is what happened! 

**jules**  
@julesc   
@unoriginallosersstan r u gonna count down again when there’s a new book/movie etc

**Deadlights Recovery Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@julesc I think I’m going to have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween friends!


	40. meme dump #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now featuring the deadlights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am Stressed and I hope maybe these memes can help y'all as much as they help me..
> 
> also....supernatural last night? i'm not remotely caught up but ???? lots to unpack lmao

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
As promised. I asked. you delivered. meme collection 2 now feat. the deadlights. get those memes ready for round three! send them when you've got em! 

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4ia14n)

**  
**

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

**  
[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4kexzy)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4key84)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4keyjg)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4keyti)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4kezbi)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4kezkw)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4kf0lo)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[](https://imgflip.com/i/4kf0yy)   


[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4lbghy)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[](https://imgflip.com/i/4lbgun)   


[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/4lbh8b)

[from Imgflip Meme Generator](https://imgflip.com/memegenerator)

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u! take care of yourselves!


	41. this week on buzzfeed unsolved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> twitter reacts to the newest episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all have been talking and here you go!

**katy**  
@katykat  
I THOUGHT WE WERE JOKING WHEN WE WANTED DERRY ON BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat I think true crime makes the most sense realistically i just hope ryan loses his shit trying to prove it belongs in supernatural i’m at work and can’t watch yet :(

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade obv using the deadlights as his primary source 

**Deadlights Recovery Zone**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
*shane voice* clown man! I’m dancing in your sewers!

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Imagine Shane fighting the clown? Staring down the deadlights like “this is fake therefore it can’t do shit to me.”

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Shane: Rip to Richie and Bev but I am simply built differently. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Talking to people in Derry who are like...what are you talking about? Mike’s the expert on this shit btw. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Y’all are speculating roles so I will lay it out for you. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Bill is the leader, Mike is the librarian/knowledge keeper, Ben’s the engineer, Eddie’s the navigator and the hottest one, Bev’s the brains, Stan’s the team logic, Patty’s the fan favorite, and I’m the comedic relief.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier gotta be funny for that.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek your mom always thought I was funny

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier yet you’re still using the same jokes that weren’t every funny

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminehanscom  
@trashmouthtozier together we’re seven parts of a whole functioning person, plus patty who is, by herself, a functioning person. That makes two whole people.

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
@benjaminhanscom Ben you are too funny! 

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
How is it taking Ryan and Shane like an hour to do what took me like 27 years. 

**katy**  
@katykat  
@mikeyhanlon Mr. Hanlon I would argue that twitter was probably a good resource. There was a lot of information readily available. We shout a lot on here about the clown shit in our free time.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@katykat that’s a good point.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat THREE TIMES? HOW YOU FEELING?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade LOSING MY MIND ONCE AGAIN. GONNA PRINT THIS ONE OUT TOO

**jules**  
@julesc  
“We’ve learned about spookier serial killers than a clown.”  
“The thing is that several people seem to think it wasn’t human.”  
“Clowns aren’t human though.”  
SHANE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@julesc Well if we consult the sacred texts (the deadlights) we learn it’s not really a clown anyway, but some freaky ass alien shit anyway. Shane might be on to something

**jules**  
@julesc  
@billdenbruh gonna be real with u man that doesn’t make me feel better about it

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Ryan losing his mind trying to figure this out while Shane laughs is stan twitter vs regular book readers. 

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
Ryan and Shane are automatically braver than me because I would never set foot in Derry again. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom me watching them casually walk past the places of my Trauma like

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@trashmouthtozier watching it like, we got threatened there, I got beat up there, almost died there, got scared there

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
Tag urself i’m ryan laying on the ground shining a flashlight into the storm drain 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@hannahbanana I’m Shane tossing the clown nose at Ryan while investigating

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@hannahbanan I’m them openly discussing a child murdering clown in a public library while everybody just kinda acts like this is normal

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
I know they said that Derry remains unsolved but I promise it’s solved. It’s dead.

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
Although very funny how Derry is vague in their memories. Like they can remember it but sort of not entirely without the footage.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@mikeyhanlon god i wish that was me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u as always! and of course leave ur ideas down below and i might just have to include them in a later chapter


	42. from the ground up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes twitter Soft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sheepishly hands you this chapter* sorry i've been MIA. i've been stuck writing succession fics and working almost every day each week! i haven't forgotten y'all!

**jules**  
@julesc   
Sure did buy a copy of Architectural Digest. Sure didn’t understand a large part of it. Sure do like seeing Ben and Bev looking in love!

**Architectural Digest ✓**  
@ArchDigest  
@benjaminhanscom discuss his biggest challenge yet-- building a home with his wife, fashion mogul Beverly Marsh (@BeverlyMarshInc)

**katy**  
@katykat  
We all have losers club members we stan more than others, but we are all ben stans because he makes us soft

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
THEY’RE BUILDING A HOUSE IM GONNA LAUNCH MYSELF INTO THE SUN

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@julesc highlights from the spread pretty please?

**jules**  
@julesc  
@taylormade of course bub! So far i’ve read that Ben wants to build the house from the ground up, including a studio for Bev to work in, and a garden for her to have in the spring and summer.

**jules**  
@julesc  
@taylormade that and the attached photo of ben in cowboy boots

**katy**  
@katykat  
Ben once again proving why he is the be all end all of husbands

**jules**  
@julesc  
@taylormade besides that, the losers prove once again they are attached at the hip, as they each get their names mentioned at least once, and ben made it clear there were to be several guest rooms for the losers to have when they come to visit

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Do y’all think the losers ever see the shit ben does and then try to one up each other? Like is richie gonna buy eddie an island? Is bill going to build mike a home library to rival beauty and the beast? What’s going on at the Uris’ dinner table tonight?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@billdenbruh yes, we do try to on up each other in a completely joking and loving way. When I told them about the house I was designing for Bev, Richie called me a dickhead and Bill kicked me out of the group chat for three whole hours.

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
WAIT I KNOW IM LATE BUT WHAT IN THE NOAH AND ALLIE NOTEBOOK SHIT IS THIS? A HOUSE???

**jules**  
@julesc  
Y’all ben says that they keep their wedding vows hung above their bed why am i never going to get married to anyone half as wonderful as ben?

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
I know Bill, Mike, Stan, and Patty are all pretty, objectively, rational people, but I just know Richie and Eddie are plotting how to get even with this level of softness. 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Well, maybe more Richie than Eddie, but I don’t discount Eddie yet

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Popped into the bookstore during my break and snatched a copy. I just know richie is trying to secure a vanity fair cover or something

**katy**  
@katykat   
Just laughing a lot at the losers like trying to be The Most Romantic Partner Ever just to like prove themselves to each other as some kind of weird friendship ritual 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Mr. Hanlon now would be a fun time to announce your wedding date!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat i knew that hanbrough stan couldn’t hide for long

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
I suppose we’ve kept you in suspense long enough. July 30th! Just over two weeks!

**katy**  
@katykat   
ASDFGHJLLASD

**jules**  
@julesc  
I have to get to class, but I leave you with the idea of, according to this article, Ben putting (and this is a direct quote) “All the love in the world into Bevvie’s house, because she never had it before, and I’m trying to make up for it now as best I know how. From the ground up.”

**katy**  
@katykat  
(IM KIDDING BUT) FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH HANBROUGH. BENVERLY IS MY BEST FRIEND NOW

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat lmao you couldn’t even leave out the kidding katy i’m cackling

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@benjaminhanscom haystack what the fuck how am i supposed to compeate with that shit and why the fuck am i crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you thank you thank you! i won't make promises about updates but just know i ain't forget y'all!


	43. mediocre psychics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben casually mentions his wife's future telling abilities. Twitter has a lot of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i know it's like canon that the losers have some Abilities, but I think giving Bev and Richie just shitty future telling skills is funny and has potential so that's what I did

**Benjamin Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
I love my wife, but sometimes she does this thing where she knows things just a tad too early for her to know them and it’s not new or anything, it just continues to freak me out.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@benjaminhanscom yeah tell me about it.

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Excuse me what the fuck is happening.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiekasprak  
@benjaminhanscom I get texts from Richie in the middle of the day sometimes telling me he dropped an umbrella off at the front desk because it’s going to rain even when there’s no rain in the forecast and, low and behold, it sure does rain. People at the front desk look at my funny

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@eddiek Bev sure does know exactly what the grocery store will be out of before I go shopping, but she sure doesn’t know winning lottery numbers.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@benjaminhanscom it’s bullshit to be married to someone with minor psychic abilities who knows the most useless shit.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Yeah I think @billdenbruh said it best, what the fuck

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
@katykat I think, and I’m not sure, but I think this is deadlights (not the book, the real life ones) things, because as far as I’m aware, from the book and tweets, Richie and Bev were the only ones who like, looked at them.

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
We’re just hearing this now right? I didn’t miss somehow that Richie and Bev can see the fucking future?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade you did not miss it! We are all learning this together! 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@trashmouthtozier @BeverlyMarshInc Still?

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@billdenrbough I don’t really expect it to go away dude

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenrbough   
@trashmouthtozier No I don’t mean that I mean you can still do that shit and you didn’t warn me that I was going to spill wine all over the table and myself that one time we went out to dinner? 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@billdenbrough as I have said before, it’s fucking useless for actual helpful things so unless you want to know dumb shit like the weather and maybe who’s calling you from the unknown number don’t ask me

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@billdenbrough that being said I knew that was going to happen but you called me an asshole on the way over so I let it happen because I thought it would be funny

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
@trashmouthtozier it’s because you’re an asshole

**Mike Hanlon**  
@mikeyhanlon  
@billdenbrough I told him not to look at the lights Bill.

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
@mikeyhanlon You did your best he doesn’t listen to anybody.

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
Richie Tozier and Beverly Marsh might be able to see the future, we’re just as confused as you are.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Derry would for sure be on buzzfeed supernatural now

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@eddiek bouncing off that ur train’s gonna be late u might as well drive

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier Thanks.

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana   
Just want to confirm that we’re like bouncing past the fact that richie and bev have minor (and apparently useless) psychic abilities that we’re just finding out about now

**katy**  
@katykat  
@hannahbanana totally see where you’re coming from but ig i’m not sure how you just drop that into conversation anyway, so you might as well just go for it on twitter randomly one afternoon

**hannah**  
@hannahbanana  
@katykat that’s a good point. I think it helps make some of richie’s jokes even more…. Something now too lol

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan   
Now campaigning for Richie and Bev to star in a buddy cop film where they use their medicare psychic abilities to solve crimes (minor ones like lost dogs and petty theft) until they get presented with a Big Case. they are also best friends and have husbands who are very Tired just because ben and eddie deserve a cameo

**katy**  
@katykat  
@trashmanstan where do i sign up for this film?

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Sorry still processing this but i agree with the movie idea

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
Gonna be real with you this is just another tick in the why i love beverly marsh list

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjamainhanscom  
@eddiek want to start a club i guess? Long suffering husbands of sort of psychics? 

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@benjaminhanscom yeah that sounds good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks as always!


	44. hanbrough wedding day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Mike get hitched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating this for....a month. i promise i'm alive i just am incapable of writing anything that's not about succession. i haven't forgotten y'all!

**katy**  
@katykat  
HANBROUGH WEDDING DAY

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat *holds out microphone* how are you feeling on your big day?

**katy**  
@katykat  
@taylormade i feel like my parents are getting married 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Did you guys SEE janet in her flower girl outfit? 

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Bev Marsh start a fashion line for dogs challenge 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Not me literally crying over the photos in insta about people i literally do not know in real life 

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough  
Today I married one of my best friends. It seems like something out of a story. I couldn’t have written an ending like this though.

**katy**  
@katykat  
Excuse me it’s been lovely but i have to go and SOB now

**jules**  
@julesc  
It’s essential that i know every piece of information I can get about this wedding.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@julesc eddie cried like a fucking nerd and mikey looked the hottest out of everybody there

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier yeah that’s fair

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom  
@BeverlyMarshInc I can’t even be mad because you’re right. 

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
The way the losers hype each other up i-

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
NOT BILL’S FUCKING BIKE IN THE WEDDING PICTURE IM-

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh  
@billdenbruh the photo of janet, by the bike wheels with ben’s fucking boots in the background needs to be my new header picture or something

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier you cried too what the hell are you talking about?

**Patty Uris**  
@mrspattyuris  
Congratulations Bill and Mike! We love you so much! Here’s to a lifetime together!

**katy**  
@katykat  
Mrs uris i literally just stopped crying please

**mrs marsh**  
@mrsmarsh   
Patty in that backless number tho. Stan is a lucky man

**Stanley Uris**  
@stanuris  
@mrsmarsh I think so too

**katy**   
@katykat  
Petition to make today a holiday so we can properly celebrate every year

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Ok I have a question. I see the photos of the Cake Smash(™) but how the fuck did Richie get frosting on him as well?

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc   
@taylormade Oh! He was being annoying, so Bill gave me five bucks to do it. Jokes on him because I would have done it for free. 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc you hurt me

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
Wait for it

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
@BeverlyMarshInc ?

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
Why do i feel like i’m literally at the reception

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc   
Richie got another faceful of cake. But since it was Bill, he can’t retaliate. Not on a man’s wedding day.

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouttozier  
Stan’s the only one I trust anymore.  
 **Incorrect Bill Denbrough Quotes**  
@incorrectbilldenbrough  
Congrats to Bill and Mike! I’m so happy for you guys and I hope you have nothing but happiness!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Y’all know in the office when michal’s like oh it’s like my kids all grew up and married each other? That’s how I feel watching this all go down.

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@taylormade the losers are both our weird chaotic parents/aunts/uncle but also our children. It’s a unique dynamic

**katy**  
@katykat  
Got incredibly soft thinking about the losers all marrying each other and loving patty and being happy and (semi) well adjusted and i’m just so SOFT 

**katy**  
@katykat  
Wait why is Ben on the floor in that one pic?

**Ben Hanscom ✓**  
@benjaminhanscom   
Bev’s a very aggressive dancer

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
Got to officially welcome @mikeyhanlon into the Losers Club Members Who Have Been Pining For Their Childhood Crush Who Left Derry And Got Married To Someone Else But Now Are Married To Me club tonight

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
I’m still working on the name. That’s the second iteration. I think it’s worse.

**Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> offers you this and this disappears back into the night like a hermit


	45. the honeymooners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Mike-- and maybe the other Losers-- go on their honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for vanishing for a month! have a mediocre chapter as an apology!

**katy**  
@katkat  
Love love love that bill and mike are having a spectacular honeymoon on the beach bc they deserve the world

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh  
Willing to pay human dollars to whoever can edit bill’s bike into that photo of bill sleeping on the beach

**katy**   
@katykat  
@billdenbruh i just let out an unholy cackle

**Buzzfeed Books ✓**  
@BuzzfeedBooks  
Check Bill and Mikes twenty beach read recs

**katy**  
@katykat  
It’s bold of buzzfeed to think that I don’t follow mike on ever conceivable platform including goodreads

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
Bill and Mike continue to make everybody except Stan and Patty look bad, beach edition

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier you don’t need help looking bad because you facetimed me two weeks to show me the extra large dorito you found and you were COVERED in dorito dust

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier   
@BeverlyMarshInc 1) Ben didn’t answer so I had to show you instead 2) that’s definitely not the lowest and worst thing you’ve ever seen me do

**Bev Marsh ✓**  
@BeverlyMarshInc  
@trashmouthtozier Just the first one that came to mind  
 **Eddie Kaspbrak**  
@eddiek  
@trashmouthtozier is that why the sofa was fucking covered in cheese dust? You blamed poor janet for nothing? 

**Richie Tozier ✓**  
@trashmouthtozier  
I knew you wouldn’t yell at Janet. Tell Bill and Mike to enjoy their honeymoon because Eddie is going to murder me!

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
I am calling it now, bill’s new book is beach themed

**Bill’s New Book Countdown Placeholder**  
@unoriginallosersstan  
@taylormade Please I live by the beach. I can’t be scared to go outside. After I finished deadlights I was scared to use the sink for like three days

**katy**  
@katykat  
Cool i just burst into tears at the photo of mike in the sunset and bill’s caption about love 

**jules**  
@julesc  
@katykat that’s love you baby! Clearly bill’s love language, at least on instagram, is words of affirmation

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
Kinda surprised that all the losers aren’t on bill and mike’s honeymoon somewhere given their level of dependency on one another

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan  
@taylormade I’m not convinced they aren’t? Richie, who posts literally all the goddamn time on his instagram stories hasn’t posted anything with their house in the background in a while. 

**jules**  
@julesc   
@trashmanstan that’s a good point bc richie and eddie should be three hours behind bill and mike but given what time he tweeted the other day about having breakfast (not brunch or late breakfast) it makes me feel like they could easily be on east coast time

**bill denBRO**  
@billdenbruh   
Losers Club Stan Twitter Detective Agency is back in business baby!

**katy**  
@katykat  
No formal statement on if I think all of them are together but I just know Bill and Mike were like ok we’re going on our honeymoon and the others were like “yes and we’re coming with you.”

**taylor**  
@taylormade  
@katykat i mean given deadlights i dont even blame them i’d want to hang out with my friends all the time too

**tozier stan™**  
@trashmanstan   
Ok did some investigatin’ and it looks like the background of Bev’s most recent instagram post from two days ago-- the one of ben in the restaurant is the same hotel restaurant as Patty’s bird tweet from yesterday just a) at different times of day and b) different angles. The painting on the wall looks the same

**Bill Denbrough ✓**  
@billdenbrough   
It took you guys a day longer than I thought it would, and three days shorter than Bev thought. Stan was right with the date, and I had to pay him fifteen dollars. I can finally post these photos.

**Buzzfeed Celeb ✓**  
@BuzzfeedCeleb  
The Losers are at a beach together for Bill and Mike’s honeymoon and I need to lie down for a bit.


End file.
